Bollocks, Utter Bollocks and a Load of Bullshit

There really is so much bollocks in the news media these days. Take BBC Radio 1's 'exclusive' access to 'MI6', for instance. It got off to a very poor star when it stated that 'MI6' are based in a 'beige office block' in South London. For fuck's sake, we all know that it's called Vauxhall Cross and is situated next to Vauxhall station. And surely everybody knows by now that the organisation is correctly called the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS). Then of course, was all the bullshit around the security measures they had to go through to get in. Trust me, unless things have changed drastically since my days of working inside the Secret State, this was mainly for the benefit of the microphones. I remember once having to attend a meeting there and getting in without showing my ID, instead simply pointing to my name on the visitors list and declaring 'That's me'. Believe me, the lobby is just like that of a regular office block, reception desk, security barriers, the superannuated-looking security guards - it's all pretty innocuous. Indeed, the whole organisation is really just another civil service bureaucracy, people toiling away behind desks from nine to five (OK, ten to six in the SIS's case), producing reports and looking forward to their pensions. What really got me about these reports was the way the SIS people were so keen to play down the 'James Bond' image, yet still indulged in bollocks like the security business, and the use of voice changers to 'protect their identities'. Utter bullshit.

The other big bullshit going on is this business about the details of '25 million' people being lost Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC). Can you really get the full details of 25 million people onto just two CDs? I smell a conspiracy. Clearly, this is utter bollocks, a story fabricated to try and discredit the government. Amazing how it is conveniently followed-up by this business about the 'proxy' donations. Obviously the right wing press are in league with the Tories, and possibly some rogue elements within HMRC and the intelligence services to try and bring down Brown. Well, I'm on to you now! Don't forget, I know secrets, too! If you bastards don't come clean, I'm going to start divulging every dirty secret I know! Oh yes! You really don't want me to do that now, do you? Zeke Rumplewick - that name ring a bell, does it? Well, you'd better start spilling the beans, or I'll tell everybody exactly what he was doing with the First Sea Lord in the stationary cupboard on the notorious fourth floor of the Old War Office Building in 1996. Ha! Got you worried now, haven't I? OK, I know that all sounds like the demented ramblings of a lunatic, but I'm old enough to remember the days when the right wing press were full of such rantings, whenever anything potentially damaging to the then Conservative government were reported. I just thought that it was high time those of us on the left had a go. That said, I still think it's all a crock of shit...