Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Come the Revolution

You know what Britain's problems all stem from? (This is getting to be a habit - opening posts with a rhetorical question/rant). Over-privileged hooray Henrys who control our finances. You know the sort: David Cameron and his cronies. He typifies this sort of arsehole - a total opportunist with no real convictions, save for a commitment to increasing his own personal wealth. They're generally born to money (although not necessarily the 'old' money of the landed classes, but the 'new' money of stock brokers, generated by the city via share dealing, currency speculation and hedge funds. These are the shady characters behind the private equity groups currently asset stripping their way through Britain's businesses. What they have in common is that they're - in the main - a bunch of public school tossers who, when younger, used to attend those 'dining clubs', where they'd wreck a local bar or restaurant, then pay off the owner to avoid any criminal charges. (Or, probably more accurately, get their Daddies to pay off the owners).

But how best to overcome this problem? Well, the obvious solution is to kill the lot of 'em. Whilst it is probably too late to do much about the generation currently worming their way into power, there's still time to nip the latest lot of the bastards who are just taking their first steps onto the ladder of prosperity. The best opportunity will come when they're attending one of these 'dining clubs'. As I see it, there are a couple of options, brothers and sisters of the revolution. The most obvious is that we could infiltrate the occasion disguised as waiters and piss in their soup. I have no doubt that their effete blue-blooded metabolisms - fed on haute cuisine and lubricated by fine wines - simply won't be able to take a dose of some good honest working class urine, laced, as it is, with strong lager, chips and greasy burgers. If not fatally poisoning them, at the very least it might render them sterile. The second option is to make out sure the prostitute they hire to ritually humiliate before getting her to fellate their flaccid penises, (whilst I have no direct evidence this goes on at these 'dining clubs', it stands to reason that decadent shit bags with money to burn are bound to get up to such shenanigans), is actually riddled with gonorrhea and/or every other form of the clap known to humanity. Once again, if it doesn't kill them, it might sterilise them.

Having metaphorically castrated these gits before they've had the chance to reproduce, what then? Well, I'd think that was obvious, brothers and sisters - seduce and roger their wives and girlfriends senseless! Yes, that's the way ahead - make out sure that their offspring are actually sired by the workers! Let's face facts, it'd be the first time they'd ever have got anything like satisfaction from the sexual act. It would be a real relief after all those limp dicks which had resulted from our sabotaging of the 'dining clubs'. Now, I know what you are thinking - surely the process of socialisation will ensure that by being brought up in this privileged lifestyle, these children will simply turn out to be tossers themselves? Ah, fear not, for I am confident that their true genetic heritage will prevail, and their working class vigour will overcome the vulgar materialism of their upbringing! Even if it doesn't, we'll still have the satisfaction of knowing that our new ruling classes are secretly ours, carrying our genes! Come the revolution! Or, maybe that should be cum the revolution?



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home