Monday, March 27, 2006

Vinnie Jones' Dog

I read the other day that Vinnie Jones' greyhound was being investigated on suspicion of taking drugs. It left me pondering, with a nose that lomg, would a greyhound have to sniff more cocaine than a regular user for it to be effective? Or would that long schnozz merely act as a substitute for the rolled up five pound note? I was also left wondering where the alleged incident had taken place - was the mtt indiscreet enough to snort it in public, around the base of a lamppost? Or was he caught by paparazzi at some exclusive kennels, indulging in a sex and drugs party - rolling around his basket with some bitches whilst under the influence? Does he only give into these base urges when in heat, or is always to be found hanging around Battersea Dogs Home hoping to pick up stray bitches?

Still, they do say that pets take after their owners - and this one seems to a 'bad boy' just like Vinnie himself (not that I'm implying that Mr Jones takes drugs or sleeps with prostitutes, obviously - he'd break my legs for saying that sort of thing). I do wonder if this greyhound likes a 'physical' race - biting the nads of the dog ahead of him on the track, that sort of thing. Maybe once he's retired from racing he'll follow his master's example again, and pursue a career in acting. Perhaps he could take over from Lassie, give the old franchise an all action makeover, with him as a dog rescued from death row (after being accused of attacking a child), reedeming himself by tearing the throats out of the evil villains intimidating his new master's young son...

Or, maybe Guy Ritchie could star him in a film version of that painting of the dogs playing poker. You know, he could get cheated out of his pot and forced to carry out a heist to pay off his gambling debts...



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home