Apocalyptic Gardening

Why does You Tube seem to think that I might need the services of a solicitor?  Videos from lawyers on such subjects as which bladed weapons you are legally allowed to carry in the UK and what to do if the police want to speak to you have been turning up in my watch recommendations of late.  While it makes a change from bird videos and Norman Wisdom films, (both of which video types, thankfully, seem to have vanished), I'm still left befuddled as to what could have triggered these legal videos.  Perhaps it is down to my recent bingeing on Norwegian Black metal videos - the algorithm producing the recommendations probably equates an interest in such music with stabbing band mates to death and burning down churches, so provides legal advice as a precaution.  Sadly though, my life simply isn't exciting enough at present to warrant having lawyers on speed dial.  I'm lying the lowest I've ever laid in terms of profile right now.  Indeed, the law is currently a distant memory for me, having finally walked away from my hellish former job - my daily round of having to contend with solicitors, judges, claimants and defendants is a rapidly receding memory.  (I say that I've walked away, but I'm only assuming that my notice period has finally ended as there has been no contact since I submitted my resignrtion - I'm still waiting to hear what they want to do about the equipment of theirs I still have.  I don't want it and wish they'd just get on and collect it).

So, I guess that, technically, I'm now unemployed, although I'm not registered as such and not claiming any benefits.  I have the financial means to just loaf around for a long while yet, but I really must get down to seeking some kind of part-time work soon, even if it is only temporary.  (That's right folks, if you are interested, right now I'm for hire).  In the meantime, I made the mistake today of going out into my back garden.  Jesus!  It's back to being a jungle!  Which means that I'm going to have to spend the Bank Holiday weekend hacking it all back.  God, how I hate gardening.  No sooner do you get it all under control, than it bloody grows back again.  It's depressing, really.  If I had the energy, I'd just get it all concreted over and be done with it.  But for now, I'm going to have to see if I can find my old lawn strimmer and get it working again - with luck, I can speed up the hacking down process with it.  Then douse the whole garden with weed killer.  I really do think that an apocalyptic solution is needed this time - I'm sick and tired of having to do this at regular intervals, so a 'scorched earth' policy is definitely called for.  Perhaps that's what my new career could be:'apocalyptic gardener'.