Send in the Tanks

So, did a million people really march against Brexit the other weekend?  The Daily Mail, of course, has contested such claims.  I choose to believe there were a million there, because since when has the Mail been a reliable, unbiased news source?  Let's face it, if it had been a pro Brexit march then the Mail would have been claiming that all 17 million people who voted leave were on it, plus all the remainers who had now miraculously seen the light and embraced the insanity of leaving the EU, even if photographic evidence suggested that, like Nigel Farage's latest farrago of a stunt, only a dozen or so marchers had actually turned up.  And they were all white.  Which, apparently, is an observation of fact some people find offensive, as Channel 4 News' Jon Snow found out when he remarked of the Nuremburg-style pro-Brexit rally (complete with rabble rousing football hooligan and mortgage fraudster turned right wing extremist Tommy Robinson ramping up the hate), that he'd 'never seen so many white people in one place'.  It's like Will Self observed, much to human buttock cheek and Tory MP Mark Francois' chagrin, while not everyone who voted leave is a racist, it's a fair guess that all racists voted leave.  I know a lot of leavers don't like this, feeling that they are being branded racists when they voted according to their consciences (or so they say), but as I've observed before, if you lie down with dogs, you get fleas.

But, as I've been reminding people of late, if only they had listened to me back in the day, then there would have been no need of marches, millions strong or otherwise, as we could instead have had a column of tanks flying the remain flag rolling down Whitehall.  Some years ago, when I still had the 'right' sort of contacts from my days at the MoD, I could have picked up significant number of surplus ex-Soviet tanks from the former Warsaw Pact.  Back then they had hundreds, no thousands, of the bloody things parked up at military bases, in fields, even in forest clearings.  They just didn't know what to do with them with the Cold War over - you could buy them, in full working order, for knock down prices.  I recall suggesting that we could easily buy some and get them into the UK inside shipping containers, then stash them away, ready for the revolution.  But would anyone listen?  Of course not.  Nobody would put up the capital, so it never happened - and now here we are, teetering on the brink of the abyss as a government seemingly incapable of acting in the country's best interests appears intent upon sleepwalking us into a no deal Brexit.  If only I'd been listened to, we could have had those T-55s and T-62s liberating London, then the rest of the country from these foaming at the mouth crazy Brextremists. 

(For the benefit of any naughty Security Service types who might read this, I am not now, nor have I ever been, an arms dealer, nor have I ever plotted the violent overthrow of the UK government.  The above is written merely for comic effect and is not meant to be taken literally).