Thursday, October 29, 2015

Pumpkin Warfare

It must be Hallowe'en here in Crapchester - the pumpkins have started appearing.  I have to say that, compared to previous years and bearing in mind how close to the 31st we are, there are, so far, surprisingly few in evidence.  In fact, most of them seem to be concentrated here on my street. Indeed, most specifically, they all seem to be on my terrace.  For the past several years, one of my neighbours has always had a pumpkin sat on their gas meter box - sometimes they even have a lit candle in it.  But this year, not one, but two, pumpkins have appeared on their next door neighbour's gas meter box.  Could this be the start of some kind of Hallowe'en themed war?  Will the street find itself terrorised by two rival gangs of trick-or-treaters?  Will we see a fight between one kid dressed as the Wolfman and another dressed as Frankenstein's Monster?  Will there be drive by eggings?  Or could it just be down to the fact that one household has only one child and the other two, hence the disparity in pumpkin numbers?  Mind you, one pumpkin absent this year is the one from the lot who didn't invite me to their housewarming barbecue, (I know that I didn't want to go to it anyway, but it still rankles that I was snubbed), and, less than a year after moving in have moved out.  Last year they typically had some sophisticated electronic illuminated plastic pumpkin.  Pretentious bastards.

At least we don't usually get troubled by trick-or-treaters up on this terrace.  But this year Hallowe'en is a Saturday, so I suppose that the little bastards will have more time on their hands, increasing the risk factor.  Plus, there's always the possibility that the cats which have moved into number five will come round trick-or-treating.  Probably wearing scary dog masks and demanding fish.  When I say that cats have moved into number five, I don't mean that they're giving mortgages to felines nowadays.  Obviously, I mean that someone with cats has moved into the house - which, incidentally, has stood empty for nigh on twenty years.  Getting back to the subject of Hallowe'en, I'm hoping to use the occasion as an excuse to finally catch up with a couple of films I recorded from the Horror Channel over the past few weeks:  John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness, which I haven't seen in several years and  Cannibal Apocalypse.  I've also finally got around to posting the traditional vaguely supernatural themed story for Hallowe'en over at The Sleaze.  Which has made this a pretty busy week, as I also managed, at long last, to edit together a new podcast for the Overnightscape Underground.  All I need to do now is negotiate the Mexican-style 'Day of the Dead' event that's being staged in Crapchester town centre late tomorrow afternoon as I try to get to the Tesco Metro for some essential shopping. Wish me luck.

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