Bad Weatherman

It's now official: former ITV This Morning weatherman Fred Talbot is a cockicidal maniac, (as my brother likes to refer to such people), who abused teenage boys whilst working as a teacher.  Now that he's been found guilty it's safe to comment on the case without fear of being sued.  So I'm just going to put this out there and note that we should perhaps think ourselves lucky that when he was leaping about that giant map of the UK floating in that dock in Liverpool, giving his weather forecast, he wasn't pointing at the various locales with his cock.  Worse still, he could have manipulated his scrotum into shapes representing the weather forecast symbols for clouds.  I suppose that by pushing his penis down over his ball bag and kinking it a bit he could have given us the thunder and lightning symbol.  I guess that if he held it straight and urinated, that would be the rain symbol and if he whacked off, that could be snow.  I have no idea how he'd have done the 'wintry showers' one though.

One of the witnesses at Talbot's trial was Stone Roses singer Ian Brown, who, as a school boy, had been taught by Talbot.  He claimed that he and the rest of his class had once been shown a gay porn film by Talbot.  I have to say here that when I was at school watching a gay porn film would have been a welcome relief from the usual tedious educational films we were shown.  A straight porn film would have been even more welcome to a bunch of hormonal teenage boys, but gay porn would have had novelty value and given us something to jeer at and accuse the teacher of having participated in.  Mind you, Brown's description of the film - three minutes of a bloke sitting on a bed masturbating - sounds less like an actual gay porn movie that a 'solo sex' loop of the kind shown to punters in various dubious Soho hang outs in the seventies.  But to get back to the point, I suppose that glimpsing a porn movie at such a tender age traumatised Brown for life and eventually resulted in the Stone Roses dismal musical output.  (I'm not a fan, as you might guess).  Jesus, that Fred Talbot has a lot to answer for, the bastard!