Full English Fruit Cakes

UKIP keep putting election leaflets through my letterbox.  I keep putting them in the bin.  In the interests of fairness and balance, I did briefly glance at the one that was sneaked through my door today before disposing of it.  This one concerned the local elections and was introducing my local UKIP candidate.  Apparently she used to work in mental health.  There's an obvious punchline there, but I'm not going to rise to the bait - it could end up with UKIP sending the police round to try and intimidate me.  So, let's look at a couple of other right-wing nut job political parties which have recently forced themselves into my line of vision.  Over the past couple of days I've had the misfortune to see bits of party election broadcasts by the English Democrats and the BNP.  The doctor has prescribed a long lie down and tranquilisers.  Ignoring medical advice, I'm going to rant about these abominations.  I found the English Democrats broadcast very perplexing.  From what I saw of it, the thing seemed to consist of bovine-looking individuals bellowing 'Not British!  Not European!  English!" intercut with scenes from World War Two and a Spitfire flying past.  Which, if you are extolling the cause of English nationalism, is a poor choice of symbols.  If there was ever a war which encapsulated the whole concept of the triumph of multiculturalism and supra-national structures over rampant nationalism, it was the Second World War.

I mean, the Spitfire alone was a poor choice - they were often flown by Poles, Czechs, Free French, Indians, Canadians, New Zealanders and Australians, to name but a few of the nationalities involved in defeating fascism.  And you know what?  I'm pretty sure that it was a British army, including large numbers of Scots, Welsh and Irish soldiers, rather than just an English army, which fought the Nazis.  Not to mention all those Commonwealth troops, Free French, Poles, etc.  I really don't get what the likes of the English Democrats are complaining about - just because the Scots have a parliament and the Welsh and Northern Irish have assemblies with legislative powers, it doesn't mean that we in England are somehow suffering a 'democratic deficit' - we've always been the dominant power in the Westminster parliament, which ultimately holds all the power in the UK.  Also, there's the vexed question of what actually constitutes 'Englishness', (something they seemed reluctant to address)?  Being a pedant, I always like to point out that the concept of 'England' as a single country is relatively recent (dating back only a thousand years, or so, to the reign of King Athelstan) and was only really set in stone after the Norman conquest.  The very name 'England' is derived from the name given to the area by Anglo Saxon colonists: 'New Angle Land'.  So, essentially, to be 'English' is to be 'Anglish' and the Angles were a German tribe...

The BNP broadcast was even more bizarre, with actors pretending to be ex-servicemen, ignorant pillocks and, most extraordinarily, a vicar, warning us about the evils of Islam and how we should 'remember Lee Rigby'.  Apparently we should vote BNP to ensure the return of the death penalty for Rigby's killers, (although I always thought the extreme right's position was that 'hanging's too good for the likes of them').  It was the fake vicar that perplexed me the most - calling for a ban on the burka amongst other reactionary and decidedly un-Christian policies - he was wearing what looked a bit like a dog collar, but had a green shirt on rather than the traditional black and was stood in front of what looked vaguely like a Church door.  Clearly, the BNP is worried that the C of E or Roman Catholics might accuse them of misrepresentation, so their 'vicar' was as vaguely drawn as possible.  A bit like the BNP's manifesto...