Uphill Struggle

Just lately everything has felt like an uphill struggle. Nothing seems to go easily or smoothly.  Obstacles proliferate.  Maybe it is down to the after effects of the 'flu from a couple of weeks ago.  Certainly, going back to work before I was fully recovered has left me feeling exhausted.  Unfortunately, I had little choice - after three weeks away on leave the work was piling up, (nobody does my job for me while I'm away, not even the simplest tasks), and if I'd taken any more time off as sick leave, things would have continued to pile up and, by the time I got back, it would have been virtually impossible to catch up with it all.  Then again, perhaps it is down to my increasing dissatisfaction with my job.  Feeling this lousy has made the sheer futility of my work even more apparent.  Moreover, the apparent indifference of management to my health problems, (no offers to help out with the workload, for instance), has done nothing to lessen my loathing of it all.  Even telling myself that I've only got five more years of my mortgage to go, isn't helping anymore - it just seems too long, I'm really beginning to doubt that I can hold out that long.

The slow recovery of my voice isn't helping things, either.  I'm growing weary of having to explain that, thanks to the damage done to my vocal chords by the violent coughing that accompanied the 'flu, then the throat infection which struck once I was over that, it could take weeks for my voice to return to anything like normal.  That said, my voice is growing stronger, day by day.  It is best early in the morning and tends to fade as the day goes on.  I'm also gradually recovering the upper part of my vocal range, meaning that my voice no longer sounds quite so low and gravelly, and that I can get more intonation into my speech.  The key to this recovery has been the use of honey to break down the phlegm and mucus that had accumulated in my throat, and gargling with diluted TCP in order to kill off the last vestiges of the original infection.  Not raising my voice is also important.  Sadly, I suffered a setback in my voice recovery when I did raise my voice.  Twice.  Both times at inanimate objects that wouldn't do as they were told.  The result has been a noticeable deterioration in my voice.  Hopefully, another weekend of resting my voice by not speaking for forty eight hours will repair the damage.  Like I said, everything seems to be an uphill struggle these days.