Ruptured Rapture

Frankly, after a week spent alternately trying to sort out yet more car troubles, (actually, it's the same trouble recurring), and moving offices, I'm completely knackered. The fact that I haven't been sleeping well simply compounds my feeling of exhaustion. So, here I am on a Friday evening, crashed out on my sofa, eating doughnuts, trying not to watch the poisonous parody of itself that Have I Got News For You has become, and asking myself, what's the point? I mean, really, what was the point of all that fevered activity this week? It's the Rapture tomorrow, for God's sake! All the pious and Godly people will ascend to Heaven, leaving us sinners to endure a Hell on earth, until the world ends completely in October. Will we sinners be given a chance to repent our sins before October, so as to book a place in Heaven? Not that I'm keen on repenting my sins - I quite enjoyed committing them.

Anyway, this Rapture could have serious consequences - will there be anybody left to read this after tomorrow? Will it precipitate another catastrophic drop in my web traffic? To be fair, if you've ever read anything I've published on the web, then there's very little likelihood that you'll be ascending to Heaven any time soon. I do find that October date for the end of the world a bit worrying though - I might not have my revamped version of The Sleaze ready by then, (at least, not at the rate I'm progressing with it at present). Getting back to the point, even if the Rapture does take place tomorrow, will we notice? After all, how many of us are likely to know anyone pious enough to ascend to Heaven? The numbers involved will surely be infinitesimal. As for the Hell on earth we're promised, with this awful government, we're suffering it already, aren't we? Ah well, I've finished the doughnuts and Have I Got New For You was almost bearable tonight. So, I guess I'll just crack open a beer and brace myself for the Rapture.