More Convenient Conspiracies

Dark forces are gathering, subverting the natural order of things and conspiring to ensure the triumph of darkness. No, I'm not talking about the voting system for the Eurovision Song Contest, but rather about this weekend's concerted attempts to destroy two liberal politicians. I'm talking, of course about the allegations of wrong-doing against the head of the IMF in New York, and Energy Secretary Chris Huhne in the UK. I ask you, isn't the timing of these claims just too convenient? Take the case of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, he looks set to be the Socialist's candidate for the Presidential elections, with polls indicating that he would beat incumbent conservative President Sarkozy, when, out of the blue, he finds himself accused of serious sexual offences. Oh come on! It's al too blatant - the military intervention in Libya has failed to boost Sarkozy's poll standing, so he's left with only one choice: destroy the opposition! And if it wasn't Sarkozy, then it's a conspiracy by evil international financiers and bankers, unhappy that, in his role as IMF chief, Strauss-Kahn has been too lenient with the Greeks.

As for Chris Huhne, surely it can be no coincidence that, following the Energy Minister's criticisms of the conduct of Conservative ministers in the 'No to AV' campaign, and his clashes with other Cabinet members over carbon emissions, he suddenly finds himself accused of trying to cover up motoring offences. Really! I mean, when the principle accuser is an embittered estranged wife, then it's just too obvious that this is a smear campaign by right-wingers to discredit a dangerous opponent. Bearing in mind the environmental aspect, they're probably in collusion with oil firms and other industrial polluters. It's all so transparent! Whatever happened to the good old days, when top-level conspiracies were so cunningly designed that only highly trained obsessives were able to spot them? These days the conspirators are showing nothing but contempt for us - they're not even trying to wrap their machinations up in enigmatic riddles, concealing vital clues in musty old archives and diverting our attention by means of elaborate campaigns of disinformation. Bastards!