"This Revolution is Sponsored by Tesco..."

Well, my plans for a tank-buying trip this Summer are well advanced and, by the Autumn, I should be in a position to equip my own armoured division in preparation for the forthcoming revolution. unlike Egypt, this time it will be us protesters who put tanks on the street! More fool the government for scrapping theirs in defence cuts. Who's laughing now, eh? Importing these armoured vehicles shouldn't be too much of a problem, nor should setting up my own army. I'll just say that it's all part of the 'Big Society' - surely the community getting involved to provide the country with defences is no different to local people having to set up their own libraries to replace the ones closed by government spending cuts? The first step will be to establish this private revolutionary army as a charity, then it should be plain sailing. The government keeps on saying that it wants charities to step in and provide many of the services currently provided by the state.

There's no doubt that it would give me a certain satisfaction to see the government hoist by their own petard, so to speak, in this fashion. Just imagine, creating a revolutionary army to overthrow the government, and getting a tax break at the same time, thanks to the organisation's charitable status. Maybe I could even get sponsorship for my army? The 'Top Shop Revolutionary Guard', maybe? Or perhaps individual tanks could be sponsored, carrying adverts like Formula One cars? Once again, I have to emphasise, for the benefit of any intelligence agencies, policemen or morons reading this, that I'm not really going to buy tanks from the former Soviet Union, or start an armed insurrection against the UK government. You can't be too careful these days. You never know who might be reading, or how stupid they might be.