Overheard Conversations

A fragment of conversation recently heard on a train:

Youth in hoodie: "What about sleazy TV? In my opinion, the most embarrassing TV moment was on Noel Edmonds' House Party in 1995, when he cut to that unsuspecting guy who had been set up by his 'friends' to have a camera secretly installed in his TV, only to find him with his tackle out jerkin' his gherkin to Pamela Anderson on Baywatch! I tell ya, if some mother fucker did that to me, I'd kick 'em in the knackers, for sure!"

Bloke in suit: "I distinctly remember watching The Late Show that featured a man who claimed to be able to make a pint of milk disappear, he had performed some mild magic tricks with a satirical edge but then whipped out his johnson and proceeded to suck the milk up it. As people tried to grab him he attempted to consume a double whopper with cheese and fries with his anus."

Youth in hoodie: "Motherfucker! I remember that dude! Didn't that fucking bitch Germaine Greer respond by showin' how she could fire ping pong balls outta her fanny?"

At this point, the train reached my stop, so you'll just have to imagine the rest of the conversation for yourselves...