Friday, February 12, 2010

Rogue Mail

Suddenly I'm feeling terribly unloved and unwanted - the avalanche of spam which usually fills my inbox has, over the past few months, dwindled to a trickle before all but drying up. Clearly, my spam filters have become more efficient, either that or I should have been more conscientious in my correspondence. Perhaps if I'd replied to a few more of those online pharmacies offering me viagra, or had got in touch with those nice Russian girls who were always eager to meet me and show me their photos, I wouldn't be left feeling so lonely and bereft. There's no denying that there was something quite satisfying about seeing that I had forty six new messages in my inbox. Even if they were all spam. It just made me feel wanted. All those spammers clearly thought I was a potential valued customer. But I spurned them, and now I'm alone.

So, due to my neglect, I will now never have the chance of rogering my Russian mail order bride - who I dazzled with my diplomas and doctorates from online universities - with massive, surgically enhanced member, which is kept rock hard with non-prescription viagra. Instead, I now have to satisfy myself with a paltry handful of e-mails inviting me to reactivate my account at various financial institutions I've never banked with, and VIP invitations to online casinos. Pathetic, isn't it? In an attempt to rectify this sorry state of affairs and get back to the good old days of a bulging inbox, I'm off to sign up to every dodgy looking site and newsletter I can find. Just to be sure, I'm going to make out sure that my primary e-mail address is exposed to every spambot on the web! Then it's just a matter of time before my popularity returns!

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Blogger VerseCannon said...

How I empathise with your plight.

I've been suffering from diarrhea for eons; the ailment has confounded the legions of gastro enterologists I've consulted. I've had weird tests conducted, drunk dubious potions and had my intestines and innards screened. Of course, when doctors can't find a cause for intestinal ailments, they label it IBS!

Let me cut to the chase though. Every day I drink a few mugs of jasmine tea, and my taste buds having been somewhat inured and dulled with the flavor.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to try cinnamon tea. Since then, I haven't been racing to the bathroom every hour.

I hope you have recovered since your blog entry, but if you haven't do give it a try.

Get well soon.


11:41 am  

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