I Believe in Bollocks

So Jodie Kidd believes in miracles - well, she still has a career of sorts, so I suppose she might have a point. I was quite disappointed to see that this was the third, and last, instalment of BBC 3's recent TV series. After Joe Swash telling us he believes in ghosts and Danny Dyer revealing his belief in UFOs, I was hoping for something more dramatic: Ian Wright - I Believe in Werewolves, or Joss Stone - I Believe in Bigfoot, perhaps. The sight of Joss Stone - possibly the dippiest woman in music - wandering through the forests of the American Northwest in search of large hairy anthropoids would have made for excellent entertainment, I would have thought. But then again, BBC 3's budget probably wouldn't stretch to an overseas shoot, so instead Joss Stone would have had to confine her search for Bigfoot to some scrub land outside Basildon, instead. Likewise, if they'd gone for Ross Kemp - I Believe in Vampires, the ex-Eastender would have had to settle for trying to stake the undead in a municipal cemetery in Frimley, rather than Transylvania.

But what was the point of the series? To confirm what we already knew - that celebrities, by and large, are a bunch of ignorant pillocks who will believe any old bollocks? I mean, should we be surprised that loveable cheeky cockney halfwit Joe Swash believes in ghosts, in spite of a total lack of scientific evidence of their existence? We certainly shouldn't be surprised that self-styled mockney geezer Danny Dyer is a bell end, although it is somewhat surprising that he believes in something as un-macho as UFOs. If anyone had ever asked me what completely ridiculous thing Danny Dyer believed in, I'd have plumped for it being the vain hope that West Ham was still a football team. Of course, this programme ultimately disappointed everyone when it didn't conclude with Dyer being abducted by a UFO. Which, obviously, it couldn't, because they don't bloody exist.