Celebrity Crime Time

OK, it's time for some end-of-the-week competition fun! As we all know, many celebrities have stood trial or even served time for various crimes and misdemeanours. Wrestling star Booker T, for instance, was once convicted of armed robbery, whilst Robert Mitchum famously did time for possession of dope. Jerry Lee Lewis, although not actually arrested, was run out of Britain in the 1960s when it was found that he had married his twelve year old cousin - those crazy degenerate colonials, don’t they know that sort of thing is only for Royalty and the landed gentry? Brit celebs have also committed (or been accused of) their fair share of crimes. Oscar Wilde went to Reading Jail for buggery, the multi-untalented Johnny Vaughn did time for drug offences, Stephen Fry for credit card fraud and Lord Archer for perjury and generally being a tosser.

So, for our fun-filled competition, all you have to do is match up the celebrity to the crime. Its very simple, we’ve given you a list of eight celebrities (labelled A to H), and a list of eight crimes (labelled 1 to 8). If, for example, you think Charles Bronson (Celeb B) has ever exposed himself to schoolchildren (crime 7), just put down B-7. Keep doing this until you’ve matched each celeb to each crime and send your choices to Sleaze Diary. Remember, if you get it wrong and accuse the wrong celeb of the wrong crime, you could be sued for libel! If you get it right, you could win a fabulous prize (but probably not as we’re totally skint - OK maybe I’ll send you a porn pic from my private collection, but don’t bank on it). Good luck!

CRIME 1: PROCURING YOUNG BOYS FOR IMMORAL PURPOSES

CRIME 2: CORRUPTING THE MORALS OF NOVICE NUNS

CRIME 3: DEFECATING ON THE QUEEN’S HIGHWAY WITHOUT SHOUTING A PRIOR WARNING

CRIME 4: PERFORMING SIMULATED FELLATIO ON AN EFFIGY OF CHRIST ON THE CROSS

CRIME 5: FRAUDULENTLY OBTAINING OLD AGE PENSIONERS FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES

CRIME 6: MASTURBATION IN A PUBLIC PLACE WITHOUT THE PROPER PERMIT

CRIME 7: INDECENT EXPOSURE IN A CHILDREN’S PLAY GROUP

CRIME 8: DEADLY ASSAULT WITH A VIBRATOR


CELEB A: JACK BENNY

CELEB B: CHARLES BRONSON

CELEB C: CLIFF RICHARD

CELEB D: JOHN WAYNE

CELEB E: CHUCK NORRIS

CELEB F: ANGELINA JOLIE

CELEB G: HEATH LEDGER

CELEB H: AMY WINEHOUSE