Followers on Demand

Getting back to this business of Twitter and followers, I've finally decided upon a purpose for my rarely updated and unfollowed Twitter feed. Basically, I'm going to make it my mission to seek out other feeds with no followers and follow them. There's nothing more disheartening than having your Twitter feed ignored, (well, I assume there isn't, personally, I wear my 'No Followers' tag as a badge of honour, but I'm sure that there are other sensitive souls out there who feel emotionally crushed by the Twitter community's rejection of their feed), so I am to bring a little cheer into people's lives by following them. With luck, once other Twitterers see that someone as fascinating and groovy as me is following you, they too will start to follow. Before you know it, you'll be popular, (in as much as having a bunch of random Twitterati following your updates can be said to constitute popularity). Of course, once this happens, my work will have been done and I'll un-follow you, and seek out other poor follower-less souls to help out.

Now, whilst I'm not choosy about who I follow (just so long as they don't have any other followers, that is), there are some things I refuse to touch with a barge pole. Sex offenders, racists and other assorted extremists are excluded from my largess, as are general nutters and stalkers. People who fancy themselves as some kind of satirist or comedian are out as well - I don't want my feed cluttered up with their crap jokes. I'm sure I'll think of some other exceptions as I go along. Amazingly, my actions here are purely altruistic - I ask for nothing in return. You don't even have to reciprocate by following me, although if you do, don't send me any direct messages - just because I'm following you out of pity doesn't mean that I actually want to communicate with you. So, there you are - if you've got a Twitter feed that currently has no followers, let me know and I'll take a look. If you don't seem too offensive, or just plain geeky, I might just do you a favour and follow you!