The Good Old Days

Well, with all these old films and TV programmes getting a makeover (or reboot, as they like to say in the business), I was thinking that maybe it was about time that we rehabilitated and revitalised some old favourites. Remember the Black and White Minstrel Show? I wish I didn't. A bunch of blokes with boot-polish on their faces singing terrible songs. I think it was Marty Feldman who once remarked "You'd think they could find half a dozen real black men who can't sing and can't dance". When I was a kid I could never understand why it was only the men who were blacked up, whilst the women were all white. Of course, the BNP would probably tell us of how it was all down to political-correctness-gone-mad at the BBC - thanks to their commitment to having racial minorities represented on-air, hard-working white performers were forced to pretend to be black. Now, I know what you are thinking - how in Hell could you possibly 'reboot' a hoary old format like this without causing massive offence to every right-thinking TV viewer? Perhaps the only way would be by being post-modern and ironical. This time around, the guys could be black, but wearing white face. It could be some kind of comment upon the co-opting of black musical culture by the white-dominated media. Or something like that.

Perhaps I'm remembering things wrongly, but I'm pretty sure that the Black and White Minstrels also used to turn up as guests on The Good Old Days. Now, there's a show ripe for reinventing - the BBC's popular 1960s and 70s Edwardian music hall recreation, featuring various contemporary acts in period gear, performing retro versions of their acts. It was all compered by the late Leonard Sachs, banging his gavel. These days, of course, you could have his son, Andrew Sachs, performing the same role, as various modern entertainers attempt to restrain themselves and perform their acts in such a way that wouldn't offend Edwardian sensibilities. Personally, I'd like to see Russell Brand, clad in a loud check suit, treading the boards in this virtual music hall - would his opening gambit be to shout at Sachs "I had relations of an intimate nature with your grand daughter, sir", whilst doffing his derby hat? Perhaps he could black up, as well - after all, if someone as obviously trendy and cool as Russell Brand was to put boot polish on his face, then it clearly wouldn't be racist, just ironic. Or am I being too cynical?