Small of Me (Part One)

Recent revelations have highlighted a darker side to legendary crooner, actor and 'Rat Pack' leader Frank Sinatra. Many of his activities - from his womanising to his links with organised crime - belied the fun-loving all-round good guy image he liked to project. For years there has been a conspiracy to cover-up what drove Sinatra to such behaviour. However, the sad truth behind Sinatra’s hell-raising can now be revealed - Ol’ Blue Eyes was actually Ol’ Little Dick. Even though friends of Sinatra have claimed that he had 'the biggest schlong I’ve ever seen', another former associate has claimed that Sinatra was actually hung like a cashew. Johnny Spagnotti, a close associate of Sinatra who has sometimes been referred to as the 'sixth member' of the infamous 'Rat Pack', claims: “It wasn’t until the early 1960s that Frankie began to get so hung up on the size of his pecker. Up ‘til then he’d had no complaints from the ladies and assumed that it was perfectly normal”.

The unhealthy obsession apparently started in 1960, during the wrap party after the shooting of Ocean’s Eleven was completed in Las Vegas. “There was a lot of booze, a lot of drugs and lot of hookers and a lot of guys getting naked with them. Suddenly this young broad points at Frank and calls him a needle dick before collapsing into hysterical laughter. Of course, all the other girls followed suit. Frank was furious”. So furious, in fact, that the hooker in question awoke one morning to find a severed donkey’s penis in her bed, along with a note from Sinatra’s mob associates reminding her that this was the true size of Ol’ Blue Eyes’ member as far as the public were concerned. According to Spagnotti, Sinatra’s connections with the mob helped fuel his penis paranoia. “He loved to hang out with these guys, who all had nicknames like Rocco 'The Cucumber' Spinola, 'Two Carrots' Jimmy Genero and Tommy 'Big Banana' Frezotti. I think it made him feel kind of inadequate”.