The Joker is Wild

The nation’s japesters are mourning the sudden death of Britain’s greatest practical joker, Josiah Jacobs. Fifty-six year old Jacobs was killed in what appears to be a hit and run accident, with many of his fans suspecting that the culprit may have been one of the master japester's many victims. In a career spanning more than a quarter of a century, many prominent figures found themselves the subjects of Jacobs anarchic brand of humour. During the early 1970s he orchestrated the downfall of two successive Prime Ministers. During the February 1974 election Jacobs succeeded in passing himself off as a top American political advisor and infiltrated then Premier Ted Heath’s campaign team. There, he convinced Heath’s advisors that the naturist vote could prove vital in the forthcoming poll and arranged for Heath to appear at leading naturist convention as keynote speaker. However, a shocked Heath found himself stark bollocking naked and playing his organ, not in front of a thousand nudists, but instead in front of packed Women’s Institute conference.

The sight of a nude (apart from his dickie bow) Heath ascending through the stage of the Queen Elizabeth Conference Centre, his organ pipes tall and erect, whilst playing Bach, completely destroyed his credibility with the electorate. Heath’s standing never recovered in the polls and, not surprisingly, he lost both the February and October 1974 general elections. Jacobs also had a hand in the downfall of Heath’s successor, Harold Wilson. In 1976, whilst disguised as a Ten Downing Street cleaner, Jacobs succeeded in putting marijuana into Wilson’s pipe. The effects are well documented. Barbara Castle noted in her diaries how Wilson ran around the table at a cabinet meeting, performing an impression of a steam locomotive, before playing Chancellor Roy Jenkins’ bald head like a bongo drum. Later, at the State Opening of Parliament, Wilson threw open his Gannex raincoat to reveal that he was stark naked beneath (apart from his shoes and socks). This was witnessed by the Queen Mother who, not having seen a naked man in at least thirty years, shrieked “Snake!”, grabbed the Mace from the Speaker and struck Wilson in the testicles. Shortly afterwards Wilson resigned as Prime Minister and Labour Party leader.

Jacobs leaves behind a wife and three children. "I can't imagine who could have done this," declared his grieving widow Harriet. "All his japes were carried out without malice - he was motivated solely by a spirit of fun. His victims all saw the joke and took his gags in good humour. Even former Radio One DJ Mike Smith laughed off that horrendous helicopter crash Josiah engineered in an attempt to start a feud between Smitty and Noel Edmonds. When he got of hospital he shook my husband by the hand and told him how funny it was in retrospect." Jacobs' children, however, have been less enthusiastic about their late father's activities. "He could be a real bastard to live with - there's only so many times putting cling film across the toilet bowl seems funny," says eighteen year old Daisy, who has recently passed her driving test. "It could get a bit wearing, always having to be on the look out for his 'hilarious' booby traps and jokes." Her younger sibling Toby agrees. "That time he replaced my asthma inhaler with a helium-filled replica wasn't funny - I thought I was going to die. Every time I tried to alert people to the problem, it just came out as a high-pitched wheeze! Everybody just laughed at me as I was rolling on the floor gasping for breath," the fifteen year old recalls. "I just hope he really is dead and this isn't another one of his bloody pranks. I'm terrified that at the funeral he's going to leap out of the coffin and shout 'Fooled you again!' It would just be too much for us to take."