Saturday, May 12, 2007

Yet Another TV Show They Should Make...

Well, with Doctor Who off the air for a week, displaced by the abomination which is the Eurovision Song Contest, I find myself forced to make up my own episode rather than suffer withdrawal symptoms. Ever since the end of 'Evolution of the Daleks', I've been wondering where Dalek Kan ended up after his 'emergency temporal shift'. Perhaps he just moved a few decades forward from 1930s New York to take up residence in present day Holby City. Yes folks, I've come up with yet another idea for a TV 'crossover' show - this time featuring the last of the Daleks in Casualty: as the new Emergency Department administrator. Bringing Skaro's brand of ruthless efficiency to the department, Dalek Kan enforces those new departmental targets rigidly: "Patients requiring more than thirty minutes for treatment will be exterminated!" Every week would see Charlie Fairhead attempting to reason with the Dalek in order to avoid the extermination of the entire waiting room.

On the other hand, the metallic fiend wins some friends in the department with his approach to the Hospital Board Trust and its endless meetings: "This is an inefficient means of decision making! Increase my departmental budget or be exterminated!" Of course, whilst the medical staff welcome all that shiny new equipment Kan's budget increases get them, there's a sinister undercurrent to the department's expansion - patients and staff start vanishing, people are snatched off of the street and bundled into ambulances by paramedics, even when they haven't been in an accident, but never arrive at hospital. In a thrilling denouement to the story arc, a new 'Doctor' arrives at Holby and uncovers Kan's terrible secret - a Dalek manufacturing plant has been set up in the hospital's new private wing. Here, the disappearing patients are being mutated and inserted into Dalek casings ready for their takeover of the NHS. Incensed by this latest threat to the ideal of universal health care, the casualty department's staff storm the new wing, waving blazing torches and chanting "Kill the monsters". Will Dalek Kan escape again as his evil empire collapses around him?



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