Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Ministry of Justice League of Superheroes

It's the dawning of a new age - or at least it was last week, when the new Ministry of Justice came into being. I've been looking forward to this development for some time, believing that the establishment of such an organisation in the UK is long overdue. We've long needed a focal point from which the efforts of our local superheroes can be co-ordinated. Up until now their efforts to fight crime have been hit and miss, suffering from a lack of central direction. Now, with the Ministry of Justice League of Superheroes behind them, the likes of Nude Man, Mucus Boy and the Golden Shower can pool their resources and start doing some serious kicking of criminal butt. Hopefully, the national scope of this new organisation will mean that these colourful characters are no longer confined to operating in their home locales. Perhaps, at last, we'll see Nude Man policing public toilets outside of Lewisham. Another advantage will be that, finally, police and superheroes will be on the same side, sharing resources. Hopefully, the days of the police and environmental health wasting their time trying to prosecute the Golden Shower for public urination - hampering his crime-busting efforts - are over.

Of course, many of you are probably thinking that I've got the wrong end of the stick again, and will try and claim that the Ministry of Justice is simply an expanded and renamed Department of Constitutional Affairs, staffed by pinstripe wearing civil servants rather than colourfully attired superheroes. But that's exactly what they want you to think! Obviously, they have to try and keep its real nature under wraps, so as to protect the everyday identities of those superheroes. The fact is, though, that it is headed by a notable costumed hero - the Lord Chancellor. Oh, I know the present Lord Chancellor claims to have abolished the wearing of tights and the like for his ceremonial duties, but he has to say that, doesn't he? Just like the rest of them, he has to protect his identity by throwing people off the scent. We all know that as soon as he's out of the office, he becomes a two-fisted crime-fighting Life Peer. Trust me, the Ministry of Justice League of Superheroes is going to revolutionise crime-fighting in this country!



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