Bloody Kids

It's back to the bile after yesterday's unplanned interlude. Whilst I was generally pretty relaxed and laid back on my recent holiday, there was one thing which kept irritating me - other people's children.. Wherever I went, I seemed to get followed by hordes of screaming, ill behaved children and their smug parents. As someone who is childless (through choice), I really do get pissed off at being exposed to the antics of other people's snotty nosed brats - running around, screeching, howling and generally ruining any area of natural beauty or historic interest. A visit to the coast last week was disrupted by groups of children hurling not just pebbles, but rocks, at the sea (with most of them missing and crashing into other rocks instead), whilst their parents proudly looked on. Later, I thought I'd finally escaped all this madness when I pulled up in a deserted New Forest car park and got out of the car to spend an hour or so enjoying the rural solitude. But no, after a few minutes standing on a bridge admiring the clear water of the stream trickling underneath, a horde of the little bastards, on bicycles, suddenly arrived and proceeded to drive me out of my idyll with their shouting and general rowdiness. However, the thing which really pissed me off about this incident was the attitude displayed toward me by these kids' parents. From the looks they gave me, it was clear that they considered me - a single man in his early middle years - as a potential peadophile. Excuse me! I was fucking well there first! They didn't have to take their little brats through that enclosure! We single child free people have as much right as anyone else to visit National Parks!

Really, that's what I hate most - those smug parents. You can feel the by the way they look at you that they consider you akin to something they scrape off the bottoms of their shoes because you don't have kids in tow. Oh look, they're saying, we're just so fertile and sexually potent we can produce all these children, unlike you! They really do seem to consider themselves superior, just because they have children - no matter how lousy they are as parents. I find they frequently demonstrate their superiority in shops, by maneuvering their offspring's push chairs right in front of any shelves you are trying to get to, and daring you to complain, or by accidentally-on-purpose running those same pushchairs into your ankles. Another popular ploy is to let the obnoxious fruit of their loins run riot either in public places or shops. Woe betide anyone foolish enough to complain about any of these things - they will simply be met by the usual tirade of 'how dare you speak to my child like that', 'they're only children, you bully' or simply 'get away from my kids you fucking bastard'. Ultimately, what they're trying to convey as they scream obscenities in your face is that they are superior to you because they've produced children and are therefore ensuring the survival of the species, whereas you are simply some kind of parasitic pond life who isn't contributing any thing to society. Well, I'm sick and tired of this 'Cult of the Child'. Quite frankly, I think that the kind of people who produce the most children are amongst those least fit to be parents. Indeed anyone who actually wants to be a parent should be sterilised before they can put this ambition into action. Children should only be produced through artificial insemination using the sperm and ovaries of those of us who don't want to inflict children on the world. Any children produced this way should be given up immediately after birth and brought up collectively in communes where they can have some proper values and respect for others instilled in them. Trust me, the results would be much better - less delinquency and hooliganism and fewer ant-social morons.

However, as I'm rapidly beginning to believe that the human race simply isn't worth perpetuating, I'm beginning to incline toward the view that we should all be sterilised - men, women, children, the lot. The sooner we die out, the sooner some other species can have a go. Isn't it the scorpions' turn by now, anyway? They surely can't do any worse than us!