The Alien Files

So, Trump's latest ploy to distract from the Epstein files is to announce that he's going to order the relevant US departments to publicly reveal what they know about aliens.  Or is it just a ploy?  Is he hoping that in these 'Alien Files' there will be documents, better still photos, implicating previous presidents, preferably Democrats, in having sexual relations with underage aliens.  Hell, they wouldn't even have to be underage, (although what that would mean in alien terms is anybody's guess - if, for instance, they had average lifespans of five hundred of our years, then maybe shagging a forty year old alien would constitute peadophilia), as they aren't human, then perhaps having relations with even an adult alien might, under existing law, constitute bestiality.  Who knows?  Anyway, some photographic evidence of, say Joe Biden, enjoying an alien anal probe, or Jimmy Carter being pleasured in every orifice by a multi-penised alien with genitalia like tentacles, would be pretty damning stuff and would definitely divert attention from Trump and his Epstein connection.  Of course, there'd always be the risk that Trump himself could turn up in the files - I mean, what's the betting that Epstein had some kind of deal going with aliens in order to furnish him with an 'Epstein Planet' where all human - not to mention alien - depravities could be indulged.  Maybe the aliens were shapeshifters, even, able to take the form of thirteen year old girls, so that sex with them, technically, wouldn't be illegal as they were actually adults, not to mention not human.

Of course, it could all be a cunning ruse by Trump, who, as president, would obviously know that Roswell, Area 51, alien abductions and the like are all utter bollocks and there are no files to back any of it up, but by calling for their disclosure, he's trying to deflect attention from the fact that, somewhere in the Epstein files, there is evidence of him shagging aliens.  Maybe there really is a super-secret US government establishment where captured aliens are kept for study, (with Area 51 simply being a disinformation operation to distract the conspiracy nutters), and there is video footage of Trump raping an unconsenting alien.  Because, if he really is the colossal and degenerate pervert that he is claimed to be, then you can guarantee that, if he ever heard of the existence of a real live captive alien, he'd want to have sex with it.  Maybe he'd see it as the ultimate, out-of-this-world shag that only the presidency could buy. And if such footage did exist, then you can guarantee that billionaire sex offender Epstein would have gotten his hands on it to use for the purposes of blackmailing the Trump administration into protecting him.  Which was doubtless why he had to be murdered while he was in prison.  So maybe this alien file release is really a distraction within a distraction within a diversion.