Deportation De Luxe

So, here's the latest from the whacky world of Trumpland (as he will doubtless insist the US be re-christened before his term is out) - a leased luxury jet used to ferry the Homeland Security head, Kirsti Noem, around is to be bought outright and used for deportation flights.  At least, that's the administration's justification for spending $70 million on a private Boeing 737.  Of course, they also say, it will still be used as an executive transport when it isn't shuttling Noem around.  But hey, let's give those sons of fun the benefit of the doubt for a while - maybe they are on to something here: letting deportees travel in style.  Because, after all, surely that's the reason that all these illegals Trump wants to kick out of the US sneaked in there in the first place - they came from what Trump himself described as 'shit holes'.  Which, naturally, is why they are reluctant to be deported.  Indeed, why would anyone want to swap the luxury lifestyle provided by a low-paid, exploitative and undocumented job with no health benefits or pension in the US for a life of abject poverty and political repression in some 'shit hole'?  So why not incentivise deportation?  Guarantee them that, at the very least, they'll get a few hours of executive travel experience on the jet taking them back?  Lay on the booze, the gourmet food and the girls for their return trip.  They'll be queuing up to get on that 737, believe me.

But why not take it a step further?  Don't just promise them a luxury ride back home - why not also promise a luxury home to return to?  That could be the solution to the whole immigration business - the Trump Corporation could maybe start buying land in those countries it is sending most of the immigrants back to and build luxury condominiums there to house the returning deportees.  They could be part of huge luxury resorts, which would provide work for those same deportees.  Again, they wouldn't have to send those ICE thugs out to hunt down illegals - they'd be queuing up to be deported.   OK, there might be some resistance from the countries involved, (although these resorts and condos could be presented as investments in their economies), but then the US could maybe go to Plan B.  Way back when, they established that homeland for freed slaves in Africa, which became Liberia.  Well, why not do the same now?  Create a luxury free homeland for the deported?  Maybe that's what Trump's peace plan for Gaza is really about: kicking out the Palestinians, levelling the place and building a deportee paradise?  These ideas have many potential benefits, not least that, if you are sending immigrants off to a life of luxury, then that should undercut any domestic protests about the issue.  I mean, who could possibly object to the idea of, quite literally, sending them to a better place?  Mind you, if this was all a success, you'd probably then have people from developed countries getting on small boats and trying to illegally enter these luxury deportee havens...