I'm Dreaming of a Woke Christmas

So, why are Nativity plays these days so woke?  Actually, I have no idea whether they are - I don't have kids, so I don't tend to get invited to such things - but that was the opening line of a post Facebook decided that I'd be interested in.  God knows why - my immediate reaction was 'For fuck's sake, just fuck off you sad dick' and dismissed it without reading any further.  But t set me to thinking, just how did this saddo define woke?  It's a totally amorphous term, generally used by right wing political and media figures to denote anything that tells them that they can't be, well, to put it bluntly, cunts.  It extends to encompass anything that promotes the values of general human decency, characterising it as being somehow undesirable.  So, if you follow such broad 'guidelines', I suppose that plays depicting the Nativity - the birth of the christian Messiah who grows up to espouse a creed of love that rejects materialism and promotes tolerance - will always be woke.  I mean, what are those Three Kings about, eh?  Altruistically bringing presents to the child of some itinerant bastards so poor that they can't even afford a room at the Inn - typical bloody grifters, always expecting to get something for nothing.  Not to mention that those Wise Men are always depicted as ethnic - plus the woke bastards 'take the knee' in front of that baby.  Who, technically, is a bastard, in the literal sense, as while Joseph's name is on the birth certificate as father, but it was really God himself who got Mary up the duff.  Woke nonsense, the lot of it.

To the reactionary, the whole of Christmas must surely seem woke - all that 'Goodwill to All Men' bollocks, gift-giving and general merriment and bonhomie, not to mention all that bloody religious crap telling you that you should love your neighbour (even if they are a family of asylum seekers from 'Bongo Bongoland' on benefits) and forsake your worldly possessions.  I'm surprised that they celebrate it all.  Except that they celebrate a somewhat different version which involves getting pissed up, indulging in epic feats of gluttony, turning gift giving into a competitive exercise, pulling Christmas crackers that include exclusively racist jokes and falling asleep in front of the telly.  Basically, it's a celebration of consumerism, not to mention very conspicuous consumption.  Instead of 'Joy to the World', it's 'Fuck You to the World, you bastards'.  This is what they like to call the 'traditional Christmas' and woe betide anyone who has the temerity to do anything different - they're woke bastards, obviously, out to ruin everyone's fun.  Not that anyone tries to impose their supposedly woke Christmases on the 'traditionalists' - they merely point out that there are alternative, equally valid, ways to celebrate the season.  But for the 'traditionalists', the mere fact that these alternatives exist is the problem: for them there can only be one 'real' Christmas to be celebrated and anything else is just 'woke bollocks'.  The very idea that there could be another sort of Christmas apparently completely invalidates their version.  Which, obviously, it should.  So, to get back to the original point: no, I have no idea why Nativity plays are so woke these days and, quite frankly, don't care if they are.