Won't Somebody Think of the Arsonists?

Won't somebody think of the arsonists?  I mean, they are undoubtedly the unseen victims of this current petrol shortage, brought on by drivers panic buying in response to possible delivery disruption stemming from HGV driver shortages.  I've no doubt that if anyone bothered to look at the crime statistics, they would find that there has been a sharp drop of in arson attacks since this business started.  Without doubt, petrol is the accelerant of choice for both professional and amateur arsonists, being easy to obtain and store.  Moreover, filling up a petrol can at the pumps wouldn't arouse suspicion.  Just think of the money that professional arsonists are losing from not being able to burn down properties to order?  Top professionals can command pretty high fees, (so I hear - I wouldn't know personally, obviously) - there's a real skill to torching a large structure, while ensuring that there is no apparent connection to the owner and that nobody gets hurt.  Which brings us to secondary victims of this fuel crisis: the owners of the buildings currently not being burned down who are missing out on some pretty big insurance pay outs.  We also need to spare a thought for the hobby arsonists who, while they aren't losing money, are being deprived of the undoubted pleasure of watching a random garden shed, car or abandoned property go up in flames.  Not only that, but what about the firemen being deprived of work because there are now fewer fires being set?

Without doubt, arsonists are now being forced to seek alternative accelerants which, while less efficient, will at least allow them to stay in business.  But this will inevitably have knock on effects.  White spirit and meths are obvious and easily obtainable alternatives, but panic buying with arsonists will leave winos, down and outs are chronic alcoholics hitting rock bottom without their beverages of choice.  What are these penniless derelicts supposed to drink without a ready supply of these paint removers and thinners to shop lift?  A decline in smoking and the advent of butane powered lighters means that the old stand by of lighter fluid is no longer available, leaving things like after shave and hair tonic as the most obvious alternatives. Unfortunately, unlike white spirit or meths, this doesn't come in litre or half litre volumes, so many more bottles have to be shop lifted at a time, increasing reported thefts from shops and putting a strain on police resources.  Perhaps, for the duration of the fuel crisis at least, these unfortunate down and outs should be encouraged to take up sniffing glue or paint instead of imbibing industrial alcohol - smaller quantities are required to produce a similar level of oblivion, after all.  Finally, once the supplies of white spirits and the like run low, there is the possibility that the arsonists will be forced to bulk buy fire lighters, leaving poor pensioners with no no means of getting their fires going when they can't afford inflated gas prices during the forthcoming Winter, resulting in them freezing to death.  So really, those bastards panic buying petrol really do need to consider the wider impact of their selfish actions.