Some Stupid Questions Answered

Why do people keep asking me the same fucking stupid questions?  To be specific, why do they keep asking me -in respect of my work-related extreme ill health this past year - why I don't just retire?  I mean, how many times do I have to explain the fucking obvious?  In the first instance, I'm too young.  In the second, I can't afford it because (with reference to my first point) I can't collect my state pension until I'm 67.  In the third (with reference to my second point), I won't get said pension in full unless I pay another five years of National Insurance contributions, for which I need to be employed.  In the fourth, contrary to popular belief, my civil service pension isn't so generous that I could live off of it, plus, I can't claim it until I'm 55 and even then, it would be a reduced rate.  So, to recap, I don't retire because, quite obviously, it isn't financially viable.  Sure, I have no mortgage and money in the bank which mean that I could give up work and exist for several years.  But eventually the money would run out and I'd still need those five years of NI contributions for a full pension and still have bills to pay.  So, no matter how much I hate my current job and no matter that it nearly killed me, for the time being, at least, I have no choice but to carry on with it.  Trust me, if I could afford to retire, I would.  But it just isn't feasible right now.

Right, now can people stop asking me that fucking stupid question?  If only.  And people wonder why I've been so irascible this week.  At least it has been regular irascibility, rather than the blood pressure fueled anger of the recent past.  This time last year I felt as if I was on my last legs, which, as it turned out, I very nearly was.  Thankfully, this December, I feel a lot better.  I'm just suffering from the regular levels of tiredness and irritation that I do as the nights draw in, the temperature drops and the weather gets worse.  The only thing to look forward to is the time off I usually take around Christmas.  I've already told work that I'm not prepared to provide cover while I'm off this year - I've been 'on call' for the past two or three years - it's somebody else's turn by now, surely.  I'm under medical orders to avoid stress anyway - and being 'on call' all over Christmas and New Year is stressful as it comes.  You just can't relax, in case that bloody work phone rings.  But hey, we're in the season of colourful Christmas lights everywhere.  They are certainly beginning to proliferate now, with fully illuminate houses everywhere I look.  Nevertheless, my house still remains Christmas decoration free - it still feels too soon.  Not only that, but right now I really can't be arsed.  See, there's the answer to another fucking stupid question I get asked: have you put your decorations up yet?  It's also the season of Christmas parties - I've avoided two so far, already. I remember, many years ago, when I was much younger, at this time of year I used to walk past various offices and businesses on my way home where the Christmas parties were clearly in full swing and used to think - that will be me attending that sort of thing soon.  Then I actually did attend my first office Christmas party, which was so horrendously shit that I vowed to avoid them from there onwards.  Which I have done.  (Another stupid question answered: are you attending the office 'do'? No, you know I never fucking do).  Ah, Christmas, eh?