The Alpaca Conspiracy

What's with all the llamas all of a sudden?  Or maybe they are alpacas, I can't tell the difference and frankly don't care, they're all the same to me: hump-less camels, the lot of them.  To return to the point, the bloody things seem to be everywhere all of a sudden: if it isn't the J2O adverts then its that one for the online casino.  (Have you noticed how they've changed the voice of the latter?  He used to sound a bit like Piers Morgan, but they obviously realised that the majority of the UK TV audience think he's a loathsome arsehole, so the voice has been changed to something the focus groups have undoubtedly deemed more acceptable and less offensive to huge swathes of humanity).   On top of the TV adverts, I've now noticed that the window of my local Tiger store (or is it Flying Tiger these days?) is chock full of llama themed and shaped novelty items.  What is going on?  What is this new found obsession with llamas (or alpacas)?  The bloody things are getting everywhere.  The other day I saw a local news story where the owners of an alpaca centre were complaining that a forthcoming bicycle race was likely to disrupt their trade.  An alpaca centre, for God's sake!  Apparently people pay them to take walks with the bloody things!

I honestly don't see the attraction.  Then, I've never really seen the attraction of horses - nervous, not overly bright and lots of big teeth - but they seem very popular, with people paying good money to ride the damn things, so I shouldn't really be surprised that people would pay money to walk with alpacas.  Personally, I find that I can happily take walks without the aid of an alpaca, llama or any similar animal.  Especially a camel.  The fact that they are related to the latter probably lies behind my dislike of llamas and alpacas.  Camel are notoriously evil bastards: stubborn, uncooperative and with a nasty habit of spitting.  Especially at people.  I have no idea whether llamas or alpacas spit, but I have no intention of getting close enough to either to find out.  But to get back to the original point - why are the damned things suddenly so popular?  Has the Llama/Alpaca Marketing Board been working overtime persuading online casinos and alcopop manufacturers that these animals are more suitable representatives for their products than, say, donkeys or snow leopards?  Are they running some kind of campaign to popularise these species and persuade everyone they are the ideal household pets?  Will there be a series of children's books featuring a cute llama (or alpaca) hero, which will have Britain's kiddies clamouring for their own pet llama (or alpaca)?  Who knows.  Stranger things have happened.