Thursday, July 13, 2017

Crossing a Line

I see they've banned another advert on the grounds that it is too offensive.  This time it is for ladies razors and the objection seemed to be that it focused too much on said ladies' private area. Which, to be honest, is surely the point of the product, isn't it?  Let's not beat around the bush, so to speak, but one of the prime purposes of these razors (and the use apparently emphasised in the commercial) is for shaving the 'bikini line', making the emphasis on that part of the female anatomy understandable.  I've never actually see the commercials in question (they were only shown on ITV and Channel Four catch up services, which I don't use), so I can't comment on whether they actually were offensive or not.  There is one TV advert, though, which I feel should be banned on grounds of taste, not to mention the fact that it is very badly made, yet it continues to be shown.  This the commercial for 'VIPoo'.  Don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about here - unless you sit up to the early hours watching obscure digital channels, you probably won't have seen it.  I first encountered it, I think, while watching Quest in the early hours.  I was half asleep at the time and assumed that I'd imagined it, but the ad turned up again, this time on Movies4Men.  Lately I've seen it on Talking Pictures TV.  Disturbingly, it has recently started appearing earlier in the evening, potentially exposing more people to its horrors.

But what, I hear you ask, is so offensive about this commercial?  Well, you remember when they started those toilet paper commercials which asked how clean you felt after wiping your arse and how you felt that this crossed a line?  The 'VIPoo' goes even further over that line.  Basically, it features a young actress at the premiere of her new film, telling us that she is going to 'punish the porcelain' (it is full of such euphemisms), but wants to make sure that the toilet cubicle doesn't stink when the next person - her director - uses it.  So, to cover the smell of her 'devil's dumplings' (I warned you about those euphemisms), she sprays the inside of the toilet bowl with 'VIPoo', which apparently forms a film over the water, preventing the smell from escaping - she's literally making sure her shit doesn't stink).  We are then treated to an animation of some turds (which, for some reason, are depicted as looking like ring doughnuts) sinking to the bottom of the bowl, their pungent odour trapped by the film of 'VIPoo'.  We then cut to the director entering the cubicle and wafting the air into his nostrils (which everyone does when entering a toilet cubicle), inhaling before smiling and nodding.  I mean, this is not only unpleasant (I, for one, really don't want to know about other people's toilet etiquette), but is also trying to sell an entirely nonsensical product.  The water itself in the toilet bowl prevents odours, there is no need to spray it with anything else.  If you are worried about such things, then take some air freshener into the toilet with you and spray it around liberally.

To be frank, more useful toilet-related products would be some kind of instant cleaning spray for those times you pebble dash the toilet bowl after your arse explodes.  Or a spray which can sink those stubborn, difficult to flush, floaters.  Similarly, a spray which shifts those U-blockers would be more helpful that 'VIPoo'.  But I'll stop there.  I don't want to give the bastards ideas for more offensive TV ads.



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