Lacking Balls

Nigel Farage has only got one ball.  No, that's not the start of some old music hall song performed by the late Danny La Rue (look him up, kids), but a statement of fact.  I'm sure that it is no coincidence that he shares this trait with Adolf Hitler (about whom the song was originally written) who, infamously, was shot in the testicles whilst serving in the German Army in World War One.  (His fellow soldiers consequently nicknamed him 'screamer' because of his reaction to being shot in the knackers.  Who says the Germans have no sense of humour?)  Bearing in mind Farage's German wife, the moustache he unsuccessfully tried to grow earlier this year and his alleged attempts to get a German passport (he was seen queuing at the German Embassy in London, but denied it was for a passport), one can only conclude that the missing bollock is all part of an attempt to emulate his hero, Adolf Hitler.  (I say 'hero' on the basis that, according to at least one former tutor at Dulwich College, the young Farage was greatly enamoured of the fascism of Hitler and Mussolini). 

Now, I know that it might seem like poor taste to suggest such a thing when Farage himself claims that the absent gonad is the result of testicular cancer, but I find someone who likes to style himself as one of Britain's leading politicians, despite never having succeeded in being elected to parliament and incites riots when British judges make a decision he doesn't like and spreads hate speech, offensive.  Moreover, his utterly unprincipled behaviour as a politician means that I wouldn't put anything past the bastard: he is willing to do just about anything to achieve his aims.  I can only hope that his attempts to emulate Hitler culminate in him locking himself in a cellar before shooting himself in the head, his body subsequently dragged outside and crudely incinerated by his acolytes.  Sadly, I doubt that we'll see this.  Not least because, as Nige fawns around fellow crypto-fascist (I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good) President-elect Trump, he'll gradually realise that the best he can hope for is to fulfill the Mussolini role: the pompous buffoon to Trump's deluded fanatic.