Shifting Allegiances

OK, I'm done with trashing celebrities.  For now, at least, I'm happy to leave that to the sad bastards who spend their time ranting and raving about the evils of every comedy programme made since 1983.  After a weekend of beer, Italian exploitation movies, (including Hour X Suicide Patrol and Rangers Attack at Hour X, films whose titles were apparently created by randomly assembling key words from other war movie titles, and a pretty magnificent Italian Robin Hood movie), painting (my front door now has a first coat of 'signal red') and being snubbed by neighbours, (the new people a few doors down had a barbecue and invited everyone except me - not that I was interested, but it's a matter of principle), I had time to ponder the burning question of the moment: with England out of the World Cup, who should we root for instead?  Actually, before going any further, I'd like to point out that my claims that England always seem to lose vital matches when they are screened exclusively on ITV turns out to have some foundation.  Someone sadder than me has actually compiled the statistics which indeed show that ITV's match coverage is jinxed.  So, it isn't just me ranting.

But back to the vexed question of who should be our England surrogate for the rest of the current World Cup.  The answer, of course, is very much dependent upon our expectations: do want to follow someone with a realistic chance of reaching the latter stages of the tournament, or do we want to support someone we 'like' and can identify with?  Are the two mutually exclusive?  Obviously, as England 'fans', (I use the term advisedly as it is difficult to be a fan of the shambolic mess England have been since, well, Euro 96), we're not used to following obvious winners, who play with style and confidence, so supporting such a side might prove too disturbing.  Maybe we'd be happier with an underdog, albeit one which looks like it is actually capable of creating an upset.  Beyond these considerations, there are some teams you just can't support for a multitude of reasons:  Germany - the rivalry is just too deep seated; France - too French; Russia - Putin, the whole Ukraine business and they are managed by Fabio Capello; Uruguay - Luis Suarez; Portugal - Ronaldo, need I say more?  

So where does that leave us?  Well, the South and Central American teams just look too slick and naturally good at football for us to be comfortable supporting.  Whilst there's always at least one African team which looks good every World Cup, sadly they seem to fizzle out in the knockout phase.  The East Europeans could turn out to be war criminals at any moment and the Italians, well, they don't need our support.  All of which has left me looking seriously at the Netherlands - punching above their weight, but not a dead cert for the later stages.  The only thing I've got against them is their manager, Louis van Gaal, who turned down Spurs for Manchester United.  Consequently, I've increasingly been considering pledging my footballing allegiance to the USA.  They're managed by former Spurs legend Jurgen Klinsmann and one of their best players is Clint Dempsey, also late of Spurs.  Plus they are still a bit of an underdog (and not yet certain to get out of the group stage) despite some impressive results against Ghana and Portugal.   So, for the time being, it's 'Go USA!' from me.