Summer of Speculation?

OK, let's see if we can address of the big issues perplexing the popular press at once.  It seems obvious to me that the BBC should pay Tottenham Hotspur £85 million for Gareth Bale.  Not only would this end the transfer speculation surrounding the Welsh winger, but it would also solve the BBC's problem of how to replace Matt Smith in Doctor Who. This move would also leave Matt Smith free to join Spurs and play wide left for them.  A perfect solution, I think you'll agree.  The thought of Gareth Bale using his left foot to battle the Daleks with a curling shot to their eye-stalks is bound to attract a whole new audience to the venerable science fiction series.  Obviously, it would be boycotted by Arsenal fans, but I'm sure it can afford to lose half a dozen viewers or so.  But apart from them, I've no doubt it could attract most of the Match of the Day audience with Bale as The Doctor.  Conversely, Match of the Day would benefit by the influx of a whole new audience of geeks, nerds and science fiction fans eager to keep abreast of Matt Smith's latest exploits - and see whether he uses his sonic screwdriver to put off opposing goalies.

Sadly, though, I don't think this obvious solution will happen, (although, as a Spurs fan, I'd rather see Bale go to Doctor Who than Real Madrid or, worse, Manchester United), and we'll be subjected to endless speculation as to Bale's transfer plans and who the next Doctor will be, for the entire Summer.  The fact that Bale has so far not put in a transfer request and nobody has actually made a move for him doesn't bother the press, who continue fabricate stories about his 'inevitable' transfer from Spurs based on highly dubious 'facts'.  It's the same with the Doctor Who situation.  Matt Smith had barely announced his departure from the series before the media started giving odds on 'likely' replacements, despite there being nothing to base such speculation on.  Oh yes, then there's the hoary old chestnuts the press like to bring up every time The Doctor changes:  will the next doctor be female/black?  No and probably not.  Criticising the series for always having The Doctor portrayed as a white male is rather akin to accusing, say, Sherlock of racism because it didn't cast an Asian woman as Holmes. Or Tottenham Hotspur for not making Gareth Bale black.  But wait, we have some media outlets claiming that there have been hints from the 'production team' that the next Doctor will be a woman.  Oh really?  When did anyone currently connected with the show say anything like that?  Oh, that's right - you made it up.  If afraid we're going to get a lot more of that before this Summer is over.