Friday, November 09, 2012

Donald Trump's Comb Over

It's a question that has been bugging me for quite a while now:  why does Donald Trump sport that bloody comb over?  I mean, with his kind of money you'd think that could afford a decent toupee, one of those where you can't see the join, or a good weave.  Damn it, why doesn't he just have a hair transplant - it doesn't even have to be hair transplanted from his own arse.  I'm sure a multi-millionaire like Trump could afford a full scalp transplant from someone with a full head of hair.  But no, he chooses to wander around with a comb over even less convincing than the one Robert Robinson used to brazenly present Call My Bluff with, daring contestants to comment on it.  As a man who once had luxurious locks but is now coming to terms with thinning hair, I have personal experience of the desire to keep up the illusion of hirsuteness.  I too have experimented with comb overs.  However, none of them have ever looked as ridiculous as Trump's.  The secret is to know that you have to deploy your hair strategically on the thinning areas. not just try to wildly comb it over every thinning patch.  

Personally, I've chosen to focus on making myself look fully haired from the front.  I accept that, viewed from behind, I'll have a bald patch,.  But seen head on, I can pass for fully haired.  This a lesson Trump really must learn - when you are balding, you simply don't have enough hair to cover your entire scalp any more.  As a further piece of advice, I'd suggest the selective use of hats - these also can give the impression of a full head of hair and can prevent the disarrangement of the comb over by the elements.  Trust me, there's nothing worse than a rain soaked or windswept comb over to exaggerate the extent of one's baldness.  But it all comes back to the 'why' of Trump's comb over.  Is it a statement of some kind?  Is he saying 'Look, I'm so rich and powerful, I don't have to care what you common people think of me'?  But the trouble is that it does matter as, if Trump wants to be taken seriously, particularly as a politician (which is what he seems to want), he can't afford to look like a twat.  Believe me, spouting all that 'birther' nonsense about President Obama is one thing - the US expects its right-wing millionaire Presidential contenders to be complete nut jobs - but being in baldness denial to the extent of looking like a mentally challenged buffoon just isn't acceptable. 

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