A Moustache is For Life

It's that time of year again when male semi-celebrities try and grow moustaches for charity.  'Movember', they call it.  Let's be clear here - I'm sure that it is all being done in a good cause, but the fact is that a moustache should be for life, not just November.  Possession of a moustache makes a powerful statement about the man wearing it - they shouldn't just be grown on a whim, then discarded.  Indeed, it does moustaches a huge disservice when these micro-celebs grow a bit of fluff, or something that looks like a dirty smudge on their upper lips - it gives young men, potential moustache-growers themselves, the false impression that these straggly, unkempt adornments are all that the moustache has to offer, thereby putting them off attempting to cultivate their own.  Believe me, those weedy 'Movember' bits of bum fluff aren't real moustaches - they can't hold a candle to a magnificent handlebar moustache, or a mighty Zapata.  Those are proper facial hair which take months of careful cultivation.

Obviously, just growing the moustache is only half the story - they need constant care and attention.  Regular trimming is required to stop them becoming ragged and untidy.  Combing helps too, not to mention waxing for certain styles.  That's why I shaved off my own moustache several years ago - despite sporting it (in several different styles) for more than a decade, I realised that I just wasn't prepared to keep putting in the hours to keep it in top condition.  And that's the hard truth theses 'Movember' moustache dilettantes don't seem to realise - unless you are deadly serious about putting a lifetime of effort into your 'tache, than you aren't fit to wear one - it was a hard truth that I eventually had to realise.  Of course, it is possible to go to the other extreme, like those competitive moustache growers.  Moustaches should never be forced to cruelly compete with each other - it isn't natural.  As I said before, a moustache is personal statement and I'm not sure what having a hairy London Bridge on your upper lip is stating, other than 'I am a twat'.