Monday, March 14, 2011

We're All Doomed...

I'm not usually one to panic over stuff like nuclear accidents on the other side of the world, but I have to say the state of those nuclear reactors in Japan is causing me some worry. I'd be less worried if the supposed nuclear 'experts' they keep trotting out on the news channels didn't seem so bloody complacent. According to them there's nothing at all to worry about, not even after the first explosion at the plant over the weekend - apparently that was of no importance. Now, I'm not an expert on nuclear physics, but I'm pretty sure that the standard operating procedures at nuclear power plants doesn't include the roof blowing off of the reactor housing. Not only that, but if there is no immediate danger, why does the Japanese government keep widening the exclusion zone around the plant?

My anxieties weren't allayed when one of our news channels showed an excerpt from one of their Japanese counterparts in which one of their 'experts' - with the aid of a diagram - attempted to explain the situation with the nuclear reactors. The problem was that his diagram of the reactor only succeeded in making it look like a huge cock and balls. How can we have faith in 'experts' who use phallic analogies to explain major disasters? Obviously that explosion was due to the core's exposure to too much hardcore pornography. The situation wasn't helped by my brother's observation that he was sure there was a Godzilla movie where the monster attacked the very nuclear plant currently causing all the problems. Apparently he tore the roof off and snorted the radioactive material inside to power himself up. Clearly that's what the Japanese authorities should be doing in order to avert disaster - looking for an eighty foot tall lizard with a raging uranium habit. Jesus, there really is no hope, is there?

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