Christmas Eve 2008 at the Sleaze

Well, here we are, another Christmas Eve. You know, it was all going so well today, but then disaster struck. First of all my sausage rolls don't come out right (they're all soggy, rather than crisp, despite following the instructions), then one of my cans of beer was punctured (don't ask how, it's just too complex), spraying me with warm beer (I hadn't had a chance to cool it in the fridge, even). Luckily, I rescued most of the beer, pouring it into a pint glass and drinking it. Still, if that's all that goes wrong today, I'll consider myself lucky. I'm consoling myself now with some minced pies and egg nog, (not Little Miss Strange's vile concoction from a couple of posts ago, but the real thing which I bought earlier today - it's bloody good! Actually, I don't think Little Miss Strange is speaking to me after that egg nog business - mainly on account of the fact that she's still paralytic and snoring loudly under the Christmas tree). Getting back to the point, if nothing else, at least the beer and sausage roll incidents have set me off on the first of my twelve days of debauchery. Have I mentioned that I intend spending the twelve days of Christmas this year thoroughly over-indulging? No? Well, that's the plan. The mince pies and egg nog (not forgetting that can of beer I was forced to consume), are just the start of it.

Of course, when you get to my age the debauchery only encompasses food and drink, I don't have the energy (or, to be honest, the opportunity), for anything else. Nevertheless, within these limitations, I'm going to do my best to be completely debauched. After all, it is Christmas. You may have noticed that I'm slightly less curmudgeonly than usual this Christmas. I'd like to say that it is because I've had a visitation from three ghosts who showed me the error of my ways. But I'm afraid nothing that dramatic (or exciting) has happened. It's just that I've had a mildly crappy few months - culminating in my car breaking down last week and landing me with an unwelcome garage bill - and the festive season just seemed the perfect opportunity to kick back and try to unwind and put all the bad shit behind me. Mind you, if anybody asks, I'm reviving the ancient pagan traditions of Yuletide - you know, all the feasting, and that shit. Anyway, once I've finished this egg nog, the festivities are scheduled to continue with a few drinks down at the pub. So, there you are - I declare Winterval officially open! I'll see you all on the other side of Christmas!