On The Buses

'Bus drivers to get DNA test kits', or so a local newspaper headline told me last week. The question is, why? Frankly, I'd have thought that giving them driving tests might be of more use. There's no way that anyone is going to convince me that the majority of the clowns behind the wheels of my local buses have ever opened a copy of the Highway Code, let alone read it. They certainly don't seem to know anything about priorities and lane discipline. But getting back to the DNA testing - it did occur to me that it was all part of a scheme to check that all of the drivers around here are actually human, and that passengers aren't being entrusted to the care of shaved apes. Or unshaved apes in most cases.

Getting back to the original point, the DNA kits are apparently to do with testing saliva samples when the drivers are spat at. Not travelling regularly on buses, I wasn't aware that this was such a problem. Mind you, if those simians they've got driving the things didn't keep throwing their own crap at passengers who don't have the exact fare, then maybe they wouldn't get spat at so much. What with that and the fact that they don't actually know any of the routes, they just turn the steering wheel at random and hope for the best, I'm amazed that there isn't more violence against them.