Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Prescription Terror?

Apparently the National Health Service (NHS) is now sponsoring terrorism. At least, that's the impression one could easily get from Britain's media today, with its screaming headlines announcing that "NHS is terror link" and the like. Yes indeed, all those terror suspects arrested in the wake of last week's mildly farcical calor gas powered car bombing campaign are foreign doctors (God forbid that they should be rugger-playing Brit medics), working for the NHS, (which is hardly surprising, as it is this country's largest employer of doctors). But is the idea of the NHS backing a terror campaign so far fetched? I mean, those consultants are always getting arsey about health cuts and standing as MPs in by-elections - what if they decided that their aims could no longer be met through the conventional democratic process? What if they decided direct action was needed? Mind you, I couldn't really see them using car bombs. Drive by surgical amputations on politicians, perhaps.

The other picture these headlines conjure up is of being able to get terrorism from the NHS on prescription. You can just imagine it , can't you? Feeling a bit dissatisfied with the way the war in Iraq is going, rising interest rates getting you down? Well, just go and see your GP and get prescribed a couple of tons of Semtex, two Kalashnikovs and a couple of Arab extremists - problems solved! Of course, if I was one of those fat right wing 'comics', I'd be making cracks about how it is no wonder those terror attacks were so farcical if they had them done on the NHS - they should have gone private. Mind you, the fact that the culprits were doctors gives further credence to my earlier theory that the attacks were carried out, not by Al Qeada, but by militant smokers opposed to the ban on smoking in public places. Where will the average surgeon be able to light up to relieve their stress now that it is prohibited in the operating theatre? I've also heard a rumour that the 'explosive suicide belt' one of them was wearing, was actually a regular belt with twenty packets of high tar cigarettes attached. He was planning to make a last stand, keeping the non-smoking police at bay by blowing thick tar-ridden smoke at them, before expiring from emphysema - he could easily have taken them with him.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Aphrodite's said...

Your admirer has resurfaced after being knocked flat by gastric problems, which have baffled the doctors here. I daresay my ailments are unbeknownst to medical science.

What an amusing take on the car conflagration story? And all this while I've been imagining that some bigoted Islamic fruitcakes were behind the Glasgow bombing.

Incidentally you will be vastly amused if you visit the following http://cagle.msnbc.com/politicalcartoons/ and scroll to the second cartoon "How to tell if your doctor is a terrorist" by Mike Lester, of Rome News-Tribune.

I wonder if the aforementioned Al-Quaida loonies will take umbrage at the alleged insults hurled at the Almighty. Will this cartoon too unleash a firestorm of protest across the world?


Best wishes,

One-foot-in-the-grave

3:34 pm  
Blogger Doc Sleaze said...

Ah, you see, those Islamic fruitcakes have been hogging the terror headlines, taking credit where they don't deserve it! Indeed, the concentration by press and politicians on the Islamic variety of terrorists tends to make us forget that there are plenty of other varieties out theser. All just as misguided, all just as careless of human life.

I must admit that the sheer incompetence of the most recent waves of 'al Qaida'-inspired terror attacks in the UK has rather amused me. If it isn't doctors packing their Mercedes full of calor gas cylinders, it is would-be tube train bombers making their 'bombs' with flour - the result being flammable bread. Hopefully this all means that the only vaguely competent bombers they have here blew themselves up on the underground a couple of years ago.

On a slightly serious note, I think Gordon Brown & co got it spot on the other day when they refused even to refer to the latest pillocks at 'terrorists' charactering them instead as criminals. It doesn't matter what the excuse for their acts are - Irish nationalism, basque separtism, whateve it is al-Qaida want (I'm never entirely sure what that is, exactly) - the end result is a criminal act: murder.

With regard to the cartoons, I was also greatly amused by the one with Michael Moore a bit further down the page.

I hope your medical problems are sorted soon - a prescription of Semtex, perhaps?

11:24 pm  

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