White Rage

It was another of those times when you could just feel that mixture of fury and frustration emanating from the racists over on Twitter when a suspect in the Anne Widdicombe was arrested and turned out to be a white British national.  Once again, their dreams of stirring up more race hate, a few riots and some burnings down of hostels housing asylum seekers had been foiled by inconvenient facts.   They'd all been banking on it being a racially-motivated murder and had already started drooling over the sort of provocative headlines that would follow the killing of a well known extreme right-wing politician with hardline views on immigration, by a non-white perpetrator, preferably an illegal immigrant.  So, naturally, they're all venting their frustrations, raging how the police wouldn't have mentioned the suspect's race if they'd been non-white, (despite the fact that nowadays, thanks to lobbying by extremists like them, the authorities have to mention such things, regardless of relevance), and trying to find ways to redefine 'white' as maybe 'not quite white', or clutching to straws, like the idea that the suspect might actually be a naturalised UK citizen from Eastern Europe.  It's surely only a matter of time before they start claiming that the suspect is non-white, but wearing 'white face' as a disguise.

Maybe  the usual rent-a-fascist mob will gather outside wherever the suspect is being held and try to storm the place, armed with damp cloths with which they'll try to wipe the 'white face' off to reveal that they are actually a Somali illegal immigrant.  Indeed, maybe this could be the start of a new campaign by the right-wing press to expose the 'army' of disguised illegals living, unsuspected, in local communities.  'How many of them are living amongst us?  Is your neighbour a secret illegal immigrant?  Do they ever go out in the rain?'  Readers could be encouraged to 'accidentally' spray suspected neighbours with a hosepipe, to see if their 'whiteness' washes off, (obviously, hosepipe bans have nothing to do with the heatwave - they're a liberal conspiracy to stop the exposure of those illegals falsely living as whites).  Doubtless any white celebrities who have spoken compassionately about the plight of immigrants and asylum seekers will be targeted as potential illegals in disguise. 'Is Gary Lineker really a Bangladeshi immigrant?  He comes from Leicester and the place is full of brown people - is he secretly one of them?  We challenge him to wash his face live on TV to see if the white comes off!'.  After all, everybody in the tabloid media knows that you can really boost sales if you can link celebrities to a contentious issue - who cared about peadophiles until they started unmasking celebs as kiddy fiddlers?  So, why not do it with immigration?  It's only logical.