Monster Markets

Those Trump tariffs, eh?  Who'd have thought that slapping massive and arbitrarily calculated tariffs on each and every one of your trading partners would trigger massive stock market crashes around the globe?  Apparently, the Japanese reckon that the Tokyo exchanges have seen their biggest losses since the last time Godzilla attacked Japan.  Obviously, the rest of the world is contemplating the appropriate retaliatory action to take against the US, with Japan considering unleashing its monsters against the US West Coast.  As I understand it, this will be a staged process, with them starting off with a single giant monster, one of the lesser ones with Angorus, perhaps, sent to destroy San Diego.  If that doesn't result in a lifting of tariffs, then they are prepared to escalate, sending Godzilla and Mothra against LA, with Gidorah, Gigan and Mecha-Godzilla held ready to target San Francisco if that doesn't work.  If the Americans remain stubborn, then the Japanese are prepared to spread the monster chaos across the whole US, starting with sending Rodan to crap on Chicago and Detroit.  Ultimately, Hedorah could be sent against New York, with Ebirah already positioned off of the East Coast to disrupt incoming shipping.  The Japanese government are confident that this constitutes a potentially far more rewarding strategy than imposing counter tariffs, which the US would respond to with counter counter tariffs.  But you can't counter a monster attack in kind.  Or can you?

With all those 'tech bros' on side, could the Trump administration find a way to counter a Japanese monster attack by enlarging the president himself to giant size, in order to slug it out with the likes of Godzilla?  Perhaps they could try feeding him irradiated burgers in an attempt to mutate him to giant size, or just invent an enlarging machine, a bit like a matter transmitter, except that it reassembles the subject's molecules on a huge scale.  I mean, if Elon Musk truly is the genius he claims to be, this surely shouldn't be beyond his capabilities, should it?  But would a single giant Trump be enough to beat off hordes of giant Japanese monsters?  After all, despite being giant sized, he wouldn't have powers like Godzilla's radioactive breath, for instance.  Although, of course, if he farted in the wrong direction, he could take out the whole of Orange County.  But it would surely be prudent to also create a giant Pete Hegseth, say, to drunkenly brawl with Jet Jaguar, or a giant J D Vance to stand on the sidelines and egg giant Trump on to punch King Kong when he isn't looking.  While this could be a viable defensive strategy for the Trump administration, I can't help but feel that, even giant sized, a demented old man and his band of two faced, abusive hangers on simply wouldn't be a match for the whole pantheon of Japanese Kaiju.