Authentic British Smut

Every so often Pluto's Cult Movies channel turns up trumps.  Much of the time it screens pretty run-of-the-mill fodder: B-movies and public domain films which barely qualify as 'cult'.  But then it goes through phases when it screens Giallo movies and other Italian horrors and thrillers or, as it has been most recently, British smut.  Well, actually, international smut, with some seventies Jesus Franco erotica and a couple of Russ Meyer pictures, along with assorted continental arty smut fests showing up.  Most interestingly, they seem to have acquired the rights to a number of Stanley Long produced movies - the other night I had an evening's viewing consisting of Secrets of a Windmill Girl (1966), This, That and the Other (1970) and Nudes of the World (1961), plus Harrison Marks' Naked as Nature Intended (1961).  Rather bizarrely, there was also a Laurel and Hardy film sandwiched in there somewhere as well.  I have to say that watching the two naturist themed semi-docmentaries I felt a bit like Sid James in the opening scenes of Carry on Camping (1969), when he's watching something similar in a cinema, cackling away at the faux innocence of it all, as the narrators do their best to assure us that this is a serious educational documentary.  I found Nudes of the World particularly fascinating, a sort of second cousin to Long's later Mondo-style movies London in the Raw (1964) and Primitive London (1965).  The main difference being that it presents its material as a dramatised, albeit supposedly true, narrative, with a group of international beauty contest finalists deciding to set up their own nudist camp, (or 'Sun Club' to use the vernacular of the time).  To this end, they persuade a titled landowner to lease them his property while he is way that summer, but neglect to tell him what for.  Inevitably, there is conflict with the prudish local villagers, but all ends well when his Lordship returns home and defuses the situation, revealing that he is, himself, a naturist and has been on holiday at a continental nudist colony.

The acting is terrible, but the girls very attractive, with or without clothes.  It is, however, an amusingly chaste nudist camp that they run, with everyone only going topless and wearing thongs to protect their modesty.  Startlingly, for viewers of my age, the narration (supposedly provided by an unidentified member of the beauty queen organisers) is provided by Blue Peter's Valerie Singleton, who keeps a commendably serious tone throughout, treating it all as if it really is a serious look at naturism rather than titillation.  Whilst Nudes of the World gets to its topless girls fairly quickly and then keeps them on screen for most of the film's remaining running time, Harrison Marks' contemporaneous nudist documentary Naked as Nature Intended, seems to take an age to get to the actual nudity.  But when it comes, we get lots of full frontal female nudity, (while the male nudists are only seen from the waist up or from behind).  Most of the film is taken up with a seemingly interminable travelogue, as we follow two groups of girls - three in a borrowed Buick, the other two hitch-hiking - as they head off to their holidays in Cornwall.  That said, the journey has fascinations of its own, as it paints a vivid picture of early sixties Britain, with landmarks like Stone Henge not inundated with tourists, no motorways and main roads looking, by today's standards, remarkably empty.  Most startling is the lack of parking restrictions - back then you could just pull up and park pretty much where you liked, a situation that I remember persisting into the seventies, before the increased crowding of the roads with motor vehicles was accompanied by more and more restrictions and regulations.  When both groups finally reach their destinations, at Land's End, one group stumbles onto the private nudist beach where the two hitch-hikers have gone, discovering the joys of naturism as they throw off their swim suits and visit the local nudist colony.  Nudity aside, it is, like Nudes of the World, all rather charmingly chaste and innocent.  It might have been titillating stuff in its day, but I can honestly say that I found neither film remotely erotic.

Before leaving this subject, a few quick thoughts about Secrets of a Windmill Girl and This, That and the Other.  The latter is an anthology film produced by Long with the Ford brothers, originally released as A Promise of Bed.  It has a certain raw feel, being shot entirely on location with rather grainy film.  The three stories are meant to be sex comedies, but actually deliver little of either.  The first is notable for featuring a young Dennis Waterman in the lead and is a very slight story as he is mistaken by an actress seeking a role for the photographer son of a producer.  The second story, featuring Victor Spinetti as a suicidal man who mistakenly finds himself hosting a party for a group of bright young things is actually quite poignant and features an excellent and moving performance from Spinetti.  The third and final story, centering on John Bird as a cabbie, wanders into pure fantasy, as he apparently finds himself in the middle of some bizarre sexual shenanigans in a country house, as pursues his female passenger (Yutte Stensgard) for his fare.  Overall, the film constitutes an enjoyable enough, if not very memorable, diversion, notable for presenting a vivid snapshot of late sixties/early seventies Britain.  Secrets of a Windmill Girl (originally released on a double bill with Naked as Nature Intended) is interesting because it is pretty much Long and his frequent partner Arnold Miller's first attempt at a feature film rather than a documentary.  It replicates the look and feel, though, of their preceding films London in the Raw and Primitive London, with much of the action taking place at the eponymous Windmill theatre and in various sleazy strip clubs as it chronicles the fall from grace of a 'Windmill Girl', played by Pauline Collins.  It's tempting to think that the many Windmill performances it preserves were actually unused footage from the two 'London' films and this feature was built around them.  The sense of kinship between this feature and the 'documentaries' is reinforced by its extensive use of voice over narration, as Collins' fellow former 'Windmill Girl', played by April Wilding, relates the story in flashback.  It's even less titillating than the naturist films and there's certainly nothing particularly original plot-wise, but, like them, preserves a fascinating snap shot of a particular era and milieu.  Overall, though, a fascinating evening's entertainment.