News From the Future

Dateline 4 March 2030 - The second Trump administration seems, finally, to have come to a chaotic and bloody end.  With civil unrest and riots sweeping what was left of the United States, the President finally tried to flee three days ago, with millions of dollars of currency seen being hastily loaded aboard Air Force One, before it took off from Edwards Air Force base, pursued along the runway by an angry mob who had overwhelmed the site's defenders.  Trump's decision to flee had followed the assassination of Vice President JD Vance, who was blown up in his official Tesla Cybertruck the month before, although it was not at first realised that it was an assassination, with many initially believing that the vehicle had simply spontaneously caught fire and exploded.  An attempt to illegally swear in Elon Musk as Vice President was foiled when the billionaire's own Cybertruck's battery ran after its auto-drive system had driven it in circles around Washington DC for hours as he tried to flee protestors.  According to onlookers, he was dragged from the vehicle and set upon by a frenzied mob of former federal employees, armed with knives, shouting 'How do you like these cuts, Elon?'  According to some unconfirmed reports, a chainsaw was also used in the attack.  Afterwards, his bloodied and partly dismembered body was hung from a lamppost.

Neither police nor military had been able to contain the nationwide protests, which had started in earnest after Trump had postponed the 2028 presidential election indefinitely, on the grounds that the US was in the grip of a 'national emergency'.  With its numbers depleted by Musk's spending cuts and the need to fight a war on two fronts - trying to push back the Mexican invasion on the southern border and the Canadian annexation of the US North East, including most of New England and part of New York State - plus the desertion of several units to Canada, the US military was simply unable to prevent chaos from engulfing the US.  Even the bombing of Chicago and Seattle by the US Air Force couldn't halt the popular uprising.  Consequently, the federal government found itself powerless to prevent California from seceding from the Union and becoming part of Denmark instead, swayed by the prospect of a proper healthcare system, properly funded public education, pine furniture and general laid back liberalism.  Similarly, the states of the North West annexed by Canada appear in no hurry to free themselves, with reports of cheering crowds having lined the streets to greet advancing Canadian tanks.  Again, the promise of health care, cheap prescription drugs and a proper welfare system seems to have swayed their loyalties.  Canadian troops also moved to occupy Alaska in a bid to foil a desperate Trump's bid to sell it back to Russia in exchange for military aid from Moscow.

But what next for the leaderless USA?  With significant parts of the country now in foreign hands and the rest in chaos, can it continue as an independent country?  Already, some states have made moves toward independence - only days before Trump fled Texas, with half of its territory already occupied by Mexico, declared itself independent, in hope of negotiating its own peace treaty with its southern neighbour.  With military units increasingly going over to the rebels' side, Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth's attempts to seize power have proven fruitless, lacking sufficient loyal forces to impose order.  Despite fears that the US would find itself divided up between Canada and Mexico, neither country has shown any inclination to increase its current territorial holdings.  Indeed, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau, (who, readers will recall, reassumed the premiership by popular demand, after resigning in 2025), has ruled out annexing any more US states, describing much of post-Trump USA as 'a shithole'.  But what of Trump himself, what fate befell the former President following his last-minute escape?  According to reports from Japanese military sources, Air Force One disappeared from radar screens somewhere over the Pacific, apparently brought down by a missile.  Canada has remained silent over speculation that the missile was fired from a Canadian aircraft or ship.  While it seems unlikely that anyone aboard the plane could have survived, there have been unconfirmed reports from a remote island in the Pacific of the 'pig from the sky', which supposedly crashed into the middle of a village.  It was said to be so fat that locals expected it to feed the entire village for weeks  to come.