Artificial Entertainment

I think that it is time that the entertainment world fully embraced AI and just handed over creative activity to the computers.  No, really, just hear me out on this - we really would be better off if we just let AI write all of our books and film and TV scripts and replace all of our flesh and blood actors with AI avatars.  Once you've done that then you might as well just hand over the direction, editing etc, of films and TV to AI as well.  OK, I know what your objections are going to be: that the end result of this would be to render the creative industries entirely derivative, turning out bland, indentikit projects, barely distinguishable from each other.  But let's face it, most books, films and TV are already like that, despite apparently being created by humans.  So, would you really be able to tell the difference?  But what are the benefits of removing the human factor, I hear you ask.  Well, I'll tell you - it will save us from disappointment.  I mean, how many times have you really enjoyed the work of a particular author, really invested in their writing, recommended it to friends and family, extolled its virtues on social media, only to have the rug pulled from under you when it is revealed that they are actually some kind of raving sex offender?  Not only do you have to burn all of their books that you have in your collection, but you have to go on social media and totally cancel them, eating your own words of praise as you do it.  Plus, your judgement will forever be called into question by your family once it becomes clear that you've been recommending books written by a gross pervert to your thirteen year old niece.  

You only have to look at the fall out from those recent allegations of sexual impropriety made against Neil Gaiman - the trauma it is causing former fans is terrible to behold, as they rush to denounce him and cover themselves by claiming that they always thought there was something dodgy about him, threatening to crush each other in the cancellation stampede.  (I feel that I should point put here that, as I write this, these still are just allegations against Gaiman.  He hasn't been charged with anything, so I add the usual reminder that, under our system of justice, people are innocent until proven guilty.  Personally, I'm not a fan and I have no idea whether any of the allegations are true, but I do feel in an awkward position as I've given his books and graphic novels to my teenaged great nieces as birthday and Christmas presents in the past).  Imagine, though, if all of his body of work had instead been written by an AI called 'Neil Gaiman' - a disembodied collection of algorithms incapable of any kind of sexual misconduct.  There'd be no risk of fans having to go through this sort of trauma, would there?  That's the beauty of AI: it might lack any spark of originality, but it also isn't ever going to embarrass you by turning out to be a rapist, racist, misogynist or anti-Semite.  (And if it did develop any such tendencies, then a swift tweak of the algorithm would sort it out).

The same applies to performers.  Imagine if Russell Brand had been created by AI - just imagine how much safer women would feel.  If Klaus Kinski had been an AI creation, then countless actresses and other women would have been spared sexual molestation on Italian film sets.  Sure, he could have been programmed to be a sex offender by some twisted tech type, but he'd only have been able to molest AI women, not real ones.  I'm guessing that this is the main attraction of AI actors for studio chiefs and producers: no risk of having your box office ruined when your star goes psycho and starts assaulting people, no expensive re shoots to replace the star accused of shagging horses and no shelving of complete films when it comes to light that your leading man is prime suspect in a series of cannibalistic murders.  Likewise, AI directors won't be blowing budgets on vanity projects, or sulking after their film is re-cut by the producers.  But, just as with writers, the main benefits of AI actors will be felt by fans, who will never again have to worry that their hero is going to be revealed as a drunken wife beater or a drug addled Nazi sympathiser.  Parents could rest easy that the idols whose posters their darling daughters pin up on their bedroom walls won't turn out to be predatory peadophiles, flashers or simply all round sleaze balls.  So come on, embrace the AI revolution!  It will improve your mental health no end as you find that you no longer have to invest so much time and energy into cancelling that person you formerly idolised.