The Death Boat

I was watching an episode of The Love Boat recently and it occurred to me that they don't have many murders aboard that cruise ship. Any murders, in fact.  (Unless there is an episode out there that I've never come across, where a serial killer stalks the decks).  Which set me to thinking what a missed opportunity for a spin off they had there.  Now, as I understand it - and I'm willing to stand corrected here - if a crime takes place upon a ship while it is in international waters, then the responsibility for investigating it ultimately lies with the law enforcement agencies of the country of its registration.  (Ships are governed by the laws of whichever country they are registered to while at sea - while in port or the territorial waters of a country, then they are subject to local laws).  There was, I recall, a case of a crew member disappearing from a US based cruise ship, but as it happened in international waters and the ship was registered in the Bahamas, when it completed its cruise and docked in LA, a police detective had to be sent from the Bahamas to conduct an official investigation.  (Jon Ronson wrote an article about it: 'Lost at Sea').  Anyway, getting back to the point - surely there's an opportunity for a TV series about a hapless Scotland Yard detective assigned to a UK-registered cruise ship that suffers from an abnormally high number of murders and serious crimes?

Such a scenario is surely no more ridiculous than, say, Death in Paradise, where that tiny tropical island seems to be plagued by the world's highest homicide rate?  It comes with all sorts of plus features: exotic locations as the ship cruises around the world, a legitimate excuse for an ever changing roster of guest stars as new passengers embark combined with the need for a single principal location for the main action: the ship itself.  There would be plenty of opportunities to establish a regular cast, too, in the form of the ship's crew.  Indeed, you could have the detective's hilarious weekly encounters with the disapproving captain, who doesn't appreciate the murders and their investigation upsetting the smooth running of his ship, as a regular comedic high point.  You could add in stuff like the detective suffering from sea sickness to add to the comedy.  Maybe he could be claustrophobic, as well, but assigned to the tiniest, most cramped cabin on the ship - more hilarity guaranteed.  At first I though that you could call it something like 'The Cruise Detective' or 'Death at Sea', but then it occurred to me that there was a far more obvious title: 'The Death Boat'.  (If anything like this turns up on TV, then I'm suing).