Assault on a Small Boat

Do you remember that film where Frank Sinatra and his buddies salvaged a sunken U-Boat and used it to hold up an ocean liner?  Assault on a Queen it was called, which these days might be mistaken for a harrowing drama about homophobic violence, but in this case, the 'Queen' of the title was the liner Queen Mary, back before she was moored up in California as a tourist attraction.  It came to mind today when I was reading about the capsizing of that boat full of refugees near Greece, resulting in possibly hundreds of deaths.  What if it wasn't an accident, I speculated, but what if some bunch of right wing anti-immigration loonies had secretly salvaged a U-Boat and were using it to torpedo such vessels?  OK, I know that only yesterday I was railing against right-wing kooks using public tragedies as opportunities to push their anti-immigration agenda, but bear with me - I'm not pushing anything here except a perfectly legitimate hatred of Nazis.  Besides, I have satiric intent here.  No, really, I do.  Because these bastards do, sort of, have form for this, chartering boats to try and disrupt operations to rescue refugees, for instance, or calling for every small boat in North Africa to be sunk by the RAF in order to stop them from being used by refugees and asylum seekers.  

Of course, when I say 'right wing anti-immigration loonies', I actually mean,, say, Nigel Farage, but obviously, if I was to mention his name, that might be libellous, so I won't.  But if anyone was to make a modern version of Assault on a Queen, it might well feature a villain who looks a bit like Farage captaining a salvaged submarine as it cruises the English Channel attempting to sink small dinghys full of asylum seekers.  Actually, to be fair, he and his merry men would probably be targeting the RNLI lifeboats trying to rescue stricken asylum seekers - they'd probably wait until they'd picked up the occupants of several small boats and were heading home before torpedoing them, so as to ensure maximum casualties.  Obviously, if such a person were to captain a sub under such circumstances, it would probably run aground off Felixstowe or end up beached at Dover.  Plus, if this was a contemporary version of the story, they'd have to change the origin of the salvaged submarine - I doubt very much that there are any U-Boat wrecks left that are even close to salvagable.  So, maybe a sunken Russian or North Korean submarine - one of the diesel powered ones rather than a nuclear powered boat.  After all, we wouldn't want to make it seem too implausible, so no nukes of any kind.  After all, surely even right wing loonies wouldn't be so crazy as to want to use nuclear weapons against unarmed immigrants, would they?