The Bees (1978)

I've often used Irwin Allen's The Swarm (1978) as an example of just how badly a big budget movie can turn out - ending up so laughably bad that it makes the collected works of Ed Wood Jr look good.  I have to say, though, that I've recently watched another killer bee movie that's even worse.  The Bees (1978) at least has the excuse of being a cheap jack Mexican film made for Roger Corman's New World Pictures.  Its low budget announces itself with the cast list, which includes John Saxon and John Carradine - neither of them actually bad actors, but between them they headlined countless low-rent exploitation titles.  Their names high up in the opening titles is usually a guarantee of some honest-to-goodness cinematic schlockiness.  They don't disappoint here - Saxon frequently looks as if he can barely keep a straight face at the dialogue he's been given while John Carradine hams it up outrageously (even by his standards) with a German accent which wouldn't have been out of place in an episode of 'Allo 'Allo.  The script throws everything into the mix: killer bee attacks, corporate conspiracies, assassins, even a love triangle of sorts.  This latter element is truly eyebrow raising, as it involves three hundred year old Carradine and Saxon seemingly vying for the attentions of Carradine's niece.  While the latter's interest in his niece is doubtless not intended to appear untoward, the way his apparent jealousy at her flirting with Saxon is written, makes it comes over as inappropriate.  Even Saxon's character (and therefore the film-makers)seem to realise this, when he responds to a remark on the subject by Carradine with: 'That's adding incest to injury'.

Yet, despite packing all these elements into the script, the film still feels slow moving, with a meandering and repetitive story line, (the number of people who keep opening containers full of killer bees by mistake and getting stung to death is ridiculous), that seems to take an age to get anywhere.  Lacking The Swarm's budget, The Bees, naturally, can't muster the same level of special effects, confining itself to numerous shots of giant clouds of bees buzzing over cities and beaches.  The actual bee attacks themselves seem to involve actors running madly through swirling clouds of what look like polystyrene or foam chips being blown by a wind machine.  A lot of time seems to spent watching extras slapping at their bodies and falling down as the pretend to be attacked by non-existent bees.  Subsequently, the script is full of overly talky scenes to try and pad out the running time.  The climax, though, is truly bonkers, with bee scientists Saxon and Carradine's niece building on Carradine's work to decipher 'bee dances', (through which the communicate), in order to negotiate with the bees, (who are apparently angry at human destruction of their environment).  'You mean you want to negotiate a peace treaty with the bees?' exclaims a senior UN person in a dodgy English accent.  After insecticides prove ineffective, the bees besiege the UN building after the delegates reject Saxon's impassioned pleas for peace, smashing through the windows and forcing a bee-human settlement.

But while The Bees, with its cheap production values, overly talky script and dodgy special effects, might well be a worse killer bee movie than The Swarm, it is also far more enjoyable.  It is seemingly well aware of its own ludicrousness and the bizarre denouement, which comes pretty much out of left field, seems strangely appropriate.  Even before this, there are numerous pleasures to be enjoyed: an old man trying to relieve his arthritis pain with bee stings writhes in agony and hilariously back flips over a park bench; President Ford appears in stock footage while his successor President Carter is impersonated - badly - by an actor, for instance.  The Bees was one of a number of 'killer bee' movies made in the late seventies, triggered both by the release of The Swarm and a slew of alarmist media reports of the dangers of African bees being cross bred with indigenous American species.  Incredibly, the producers of The Swarm reportedly paid New World to delay release of The Bees so as not to threaten their film's chances at the box office. Corman exploitation regular Jack Hill was apparently slated to direct The Bees, but was replaced by producer Alfredo Zacarias (who co-wrote it with Hill).  If you only ever watch one killer bee movie, I'd urge you to make it The Bees - it is a truly wild experience which you won't regret.