Teutonic Sex Comedies

So, I'm sat here watching a German made fairy tale themed softcore comedy porn movie showing on a staming channel and finding it decidedly non-erotic.  The New Adventures of Snow White (1969) intertwines a number of classic fairy tales - Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty etc - with the main female characters spending most of the time running around topless, (usually for no good reason).  Which, as far as I can see, is the only pornographic component.  Nobody actually does anything else.  Admittedly, what I'm watching is an English language version clearly prepared by a US distributor, so maybe something has been lost in translation and the 'good' bits excised to get a lower certificate.  Perhaps the original is raunchier.  (Certainly, even this dubbed version includes some of the more gruesome details usually left out of tellings of these fairy tales - the ugly sisters cutting off some of their toes so as to fit their feet into the slipper, for instance.  Oh, hang on - they have included a bit where Snow White is awakened by the Prince giving her a good seeing to rather than just kissing her.  Although I seem to recall that it was actually Sleeping Beauty who was awakened that way).  It isn't as if the film is entirely devoid of ideas - early on we have topless Snow White running through the forest being molested and propositioned by various wild animals wanting her 'love', who are actually all princes and princesses transformed into animals by evil witches in true fairy tales, for instance.  But it never really makes anything of stuff like this, (although Sleeping Beauty eventually does have sex with a 'bear', that transforms back into human form as a result), or indeed, any of the other opportunities fairy tales present for pornographic interpretation.

Incredibly, in the UK The New Adventures of Snow White was, at one time, on the 'video nasties' list, making its distribution or ownership a criminal offence.  A perverse decision, particularly bearing in mind some of the other examples of German 'sex comedies' that I've encountered.  I'm thinking, in particular, of the long-running Schoolgirl Report series which are, in effect, about underage sex.  The 'schoolgirls' are all played by actresses who look to be in their mid-twenties but, nevertheless, the fact that the characters they are portraying are as young as fourteen, the fact that their pretty graphic sexual encounters with usually older men is presented in a 'comedic' and 'light hearted' fashion, is more than a little disconcerting.  Let's face it, these days they'd doubtless be condemned by moral campaigners and banned in the UK.  But back in the seventies, when the series began, it was apparently OK to ogle and fantasise about schoolgirls of a certain age - something evidenced by episodes of various UK sitcoms and dramas from the era which, nowadays, are rarely shown anymore.  (I well remember an episode of The Sweeney where Dennis Waterman's Sgt George Carter goes into full Sid James mode perving over some girls in scholl uniform to a more straight-laced colleague, as they drive past them.  I'm pretty sure that the sequence is edited from current airings of the episode).  All a far cry from what we in the UK would understand to be a sex comedy, the format for which was pretty much perfected in the seventies by the addition of sex and nudity to Carry On-style scripts.  But to get back to The New Adventures of Snow White, I can't help but feel that it would have been greatly improved by the presence of Robin Askwith as an inept plumber mistaken for Prince Charming when he goes round to unblock the seven dwarves' sink...