Going to the Dogs

 So, yet another news story about someone being mauled to death by dogs, this time in Surrey.  The details, as reported, are vague - the victim was apparently a professional dog walker, exercising a number of pet dogs, (all of which have now been 'detained' by the police).  Whether she was attacked by one or more of her charges, or whether there's some kind of killer dog roaming the home counties is unclear.  Whatever the facts of this case, it just reinforces my belief that you can't trust dogs.  They might like to masquerade as 'man's best friend', but an alarmingly large number seem to like killing their best friend in unprovoked maulings.  But the pro-dog propaganda never stops - just you try criticising dogs for what they are, murderous four legged shitting machines, and you'll find yourself on the receiving end of all manner of hate from dog lovers.  They're so loyal, not to mention intelligent and loving, they'll tell you.  Yeah?  So loyal they'll tear your throat out (and probably shit all over your lawn) and so intelligent that they are probably plotting your death right now.  They're nothing but evil.  Not to mention that they are also snitches - just look at how those police sniffer dogs eagerly finger anyone with the slightest trace of drugs on them.  Bastards.  

The fact is that you don't hear about cats mauling their owners to death, do you?  Sure, if you were to die in your house, they'd probably start eating you, but at least they have the decency to wait until you've turned your toes up before sinking their teeth in.  Cats are much maligned, victims of much anti-feline propaganda put out by 'dog people'.  If we are to believe these lovers of  the canine furry shit factories, the average domestic cat is responsible for decimating wildlife in a ten mile radius of its home.  Absolute bullshit - the average cat is too lazy to catch anything, not even a cold.  The fact is that you know where you are with a cat: no masquerading as 'man's best friend' - cats are their own best friends and they are friends with you only when it suits them.  Plus, they at least cover up their own shit.  The bottom line here is that dogs are clearly untrustworthy and, quite frankly, the only good dog is a dead dog.  So go out and shoot one of the homicidal bastards today, before it has a chance to tear your throat out.  Even better, beat the bastards to death with a sack full of bricks.  It's the only way the human race is going to survive because, believe me, they're infiltrating their way into our homes with the aim of wiping us out.  The bastards.