Lighting Up the Street

When I was speculating about trying to do another film of the various domestic Christmas light displays of Crapchester, I should have revealed that, actually, I am now one of 'those people'.  Yes, I have festive lights visible to the public.  Now, don't misunderstand me, I don't have loads of external lights or lighted decorations - there are no illuminated reindeer on my roof, for instance.  What I have is a modest string of flashing coloured lights inside my front downstairs window.  They cycle through several patterns of flashing, some of them quite spectacular and are visible from quite some distance away.  Lest you worry about my electricity bills, they are battery operated and only come on for six hours a day.  But it is six hours of pure joy for me, as I effectively shove my Christmas joy into the faces of others.  Because that's what all those ostentatious light displays are about every year, aren't they?  Showing the world that you are having a merrier Christmas than they are, based on the size of your displays.  That's why it all gets so competitive, with whole streets of houses vying with each other to try and see who can create the greatest distraction to low flying aircraft.  

At least, it used to be like that until the cost of living crisis, with soaring electricity bills making people wary of plugging in their lights, (that said, there are still a good few large scale displays out there).  Which is why I decided to put my fabulous new lights (£1.50 from Iceland in their pre-Christmas clearance sale), on public display.  You see, I remember all those people who were shoving their seasonal joy down my throat at times when I was feeling low and didn't feel like celebrating.  But they didn't care, they just kept shoving it all in my face with their bloody flashing lights and illuminated giant Santas.  So, this year, while they are all crying 'Oh, we're too poor to light up our houses', I'm taking my lights and shoving back:  'Hey guys, I'm having a Merry Fucking Christmas!  Are you?  Just in case you doubt my merriment, here are my fucking flashing lights right in your fucking faces!'  Or I would be if I was that petty minded.  Which, obviously, I'm not.  But those lights are bloody brilliant and can be seen half way down the street.  So stick that in your pipes and smoke it, last year's seasonal light polluters!